word for the new year: adventure

When looking back on 2015 and looking forward to 2016, one key word and feeling sticks out to me, adventure.
We had many adventures in 2015, from camping in our camper in the Yukon and Alaska, to flying over Canada's tallest mountain (Mt. Logan), to moving across the country (driving with the whole family, a dog and camping along the way), to moving into a new home and starting over from scratch. Oh and adding another human to our family. It's true that many of these changes could have induced panic and stress on someone, but I think we did our very best to look at these events as adventures, and that outlook made all the difference.
And then there were some more personal adventures that 2015 brought to me, adventures that  helped me to see that there were more opportunities out there than I knew, adventures that would change me and challenge me.
In February, before our family went to Maui, Sarah and I embarked on an assignment to cover the Yukon Ultra, an extreme winter race that sees participants run, ski and bike over 600 km through the freezing Yukon wilderness. Sarah interviewed and wrote a beautiful story for Explore magazine, and invited me along to capture the images for her story. It was an honour to be asked to collaborate with her, and it was an experience that pushed me outside of my comfort zone. The story came out this December in the winter edition of Explore magazine, and it's pretty exciting to see both Sarah's and my name in the credits of the story.
My second personal adventure of 2015 took me to PEI for the Land and See photography workshops with Dave Brosha (and many other great presenters). I've written about how profound this experience was for me, and how I was challenged, motivated and most importantly inspired to try new things with my photography and creativity. This opportunity was a real gift to me, and truly felt like a journey for me in so many ways.
And so here we are, at the beginning of a new year, with new possibilities and adventures waiting for us. My inspirational word this year is going to be adventure, because whether the adventure is a simple picnic lunch at a park with the kids, or a more organized and complicated trip somewhere, looking at life and the everyday occurrences as an adventure a sure way to live a more positive and happy life.
All of our adventures in 2015 helped me to cultivate more gratitude and to be more in the present. It helped me to make a rough day more positive and to make the most out of everyday, and that is what I would like continue for 2016.
So here is to 2016. A year that I hope will bring more adventures! More camping, more photography, more picnics, more trips to the beach, more road trips, more creativity, more art, more reading, more precious memories with family, more time with friends, and more positive outlooks on life!
Much love and wishes for an amazing year ahead.
xox

pausing

There are those moments in the day that feel like a blur. We rush from one moment to the next, acting out many of our daily routines on auto pilot. Breakfast, pack lunches, find hats and mitts, off we go.
It goes on, day in, day out like this.
Then there are the moments that stop time. A rare slowing down, where we have the time to talk, laugh, just be. These moments, they are the ones worth living for. We just need the ability to search them out, and then,to savour them.
Today Katia and I sat by the Christmas tree, enjoying the moments just before dinner was ready. I asked her to stay still and grabbed my camera. The light was beautiful and I knew this would be a lovely black and white.
There are the other moments too. A quick text from my husband. You are a Super Mom he says. He doesn't know it, but those words made my day. Acknowledgment. Support. Generous. I am beyond thankful for him and those words. They helped me to carry on with my day.
It's so easy to move through the day, one foot in front of the other, just getting through it. And you know, somedays are just like that. Some days are hard and all we can do is keep breathing.
But when I am in a position to stop and savour, when I am able to find that grace, I do it, because I know that it is a gift. It is what this whole living thing is about.
xox

november and beyond!

The last few weeks have brought much excitement and busyness to our lives. 

Halloween, oh Halloween, how I love you and hate you all at once. Making costumes, getting kids to their respective Halloween celebrations (preschool, Beavers),dealing with the aftermath of too much candy, and the excitement. Let's just say, it is not my most favourite holiday, yet I love to feel the excitement that the kids have for it. I love to see what limits they have for scary things (we keep things pretty tame and more on the sweet and magical side). I love to watch them venture out into the night, fully aware that this is a special ritual of going up to neighbours houses and getting treats. All in all, I do enjoy parts of it ... but I am happy to see that it is over. 

We had my mom come over for a week to visit us and it was nice to be able to share our lives with her for a bit. I enjoyed showing her around our new town and taking her to the bay of Fundy. We also had some fun meals out and a coffee date/Starbucks date. I know that it was special for her, which was what I was hoping for. 

We are now full force into November and all the fun that comes with it. Katia's birthday is just a few weeks away, and I am busy planning the party for it. I am trying to keep it on the small side, but as always, things start to trickle along and get bigger than expected. Noah wanted to have a friend come to the party, which then meant adding more children to the mix ... but at the end of the day, I want the kids to be happy and to have a special time. 

This year Katia wants a mermaid party and I am excited about the possibilities that this theme will bring. We have plans to do some fun crafts and maybe a few games. I'm looking forward to see how it all turns out, and mostly, to celebrate our artsy, creative, sweet little girl, who will be turning 4! 

In other news, I am plugging away at getting ready for the holidays. I've been making my lists and am happy to be ticking items off those lists. Christmas cards, shopping (online shopping is amazing when you are 34 weeks pregnant), our Christmas book Advent, freezer meals, baking .... I'm getting along and am happy that I won't be stressing out about it in a month's time. 

The days lately seem to be moving along so quickly. It feels like just yesterday we were starting the school year and getting ourselves situated here, and now we are well into November, with the holidays are just around the corner. Just the other day, Winslow and I had a hospital tour of the labour and delivery ward, it's  hard to believe that soon we will welcome a new family member into our lives. And while life seems to be moving at warp speed, I also am trying to be in the moment in my day to day life. I'm trying to be present when doing the everyday things, like cooking a nice meal. I try to slow it down, by lighting candles at dinner, or setting up a nice bath for myself. I know that by being more present in my daily actions, I will find more joy and happiness in my life. Hopefully I will find more patience too. 

xox

ps. iphone pics, not as great quality.

a moment of clarity

He looked at me with the brightest, most innocent and wondering eyes. "What will I do when I'm bigger Mommy?  He had overheard my father in law talking to me. My father in law had just finished saying, that someday, my kids will be all grown up and will not want to spend their time with me. That it goes by far too quickly. He said this all with a tinge of sadness and longing in his tone.
I explained to Noah what Lolo was saying. That someday, he will be too busy and grown up to want to spend all of his time with me. But all I could see was confusion in his eyes.
"No Mama, that will never happen. I'm always going to want to be with you." he said earnestly. And all I could think at that moment, was thank God.
Thank God, that I have right now. Thank God that it is not the future. Thank God, I have him and all of his attention right now. Right now, my boy wants to be with me and I am thankful that I have these moments, to just be with him.
If this sounds a little a long the lines of Hands Free Mama, that would be because it is inspired by her book. If you haven't had the chance to read this great book and are looking for some inspiration and direction in your parenting journey (or just journey in general), I highly recommend it.
Lately I have found myself to be naturally stepping away from the major distractions in my life, namely Facebook. It started slowly, and it was hard. I'd have to fight the urge to check the internet (as I used to do somewhere near 20 times a day!), and limit myself to short and less amounts of internet time. It scares me to admit it, but I think I was/am addicted to the internet. It is still an ongoing struggle for me some days, but I am happy to report that my outlook on life and direction is more in tune with what I want and need for myself.
Since quieting the distractions in my life I've been able to do more of what is truly valuable to me, and I am noticing how much more happy it makes me. Things like learning how to play the ukulele, painting more, writing letters to friends and taking more pictures (for myself). It has amazed me to see how much more satisfied I feel without the noise and energy suck that is social media.
So what then will I do about blogging? Is blogging an energy suck for me too? Happily, I can report, it is not. Blogging has never been something that makes me feel down about myself. Nor have I ever felt tied down to it or as though I need to check it constantly. I use my blog to record my thoughts, feelings, observations, and the day to day happenings in our life. For now I will continue on my way with it. I have thought about turning my blog into a personal blog (not making it public), and that is something that may or may not happen down the road. I've often thought about the repercussions of putting our life out there in the big wide web world. Not sure how it sits with me. But for now, I am here.
xox

listening to myself

Phewf! What a few days. No, actually what a few weeks.
I'm not going to sugar coat anything here. I've been having a hard time lately. Part of me wants to pour my heart out here on my blog, because this place is where I tell my story, but lately I am finding myself wanting to keep private things private, and so I have decided to keep things vague for a reason.
What I can say is, don't worry. My marriage, my home life, my children... all of that is good and for that I am thankful. My husband and children are my rock. I wanted and waited for a long time to find my amazing husband, and I am so thankful for his support and constant love.
In a nut shell I am dealing with things from my past (childhood). For one reason or another, some difficult memories are holding me back and I am working on dealing with them. I thought I was over it all, but it seems that now that I am a mother, I am having an even harder time with understanding it all. Ah adulthood! Fun, isn't it? But it is actually. Even though it's hard some days for me, it feels good to be real with myself. It's okay to acknowledge those things. It's okay to be sad or mad or angry or upset.
Lately I've been desperately feeling the need to move. To where? I'm not sure. Actually in all honesty, I have my heart focused on when we move down South again. It won't be for a few years, and I am not wanting to live for the future, I really do like to be in "the now", but still a gal can day dream can't she? In my dreams we will be living by the coast (East Coast I hope). We'll live where the winter doesn't stretch on for months and months. We'll live somewhere where a garden will grow, where we can eat all summer long from our garden (my last 2 summers worth of work never yielded anything!). We'll live somewhere where we can go on a proper road trip. Oh I miss road trips. The kinds where you get in a car and end up in another charming town that you have never discovered. I am feeling a bit trapped at the moment I think. Road trips were always my way of escaping when I lived down South.
I hope I have not worried anyone with this post. Just thought that I should be honest. That's okay right? I want to be a happier person, a happier mama, happier friend, happier wife. For myself and for others. So I am working on it.
In an attempt to work on my happiness I am going to continue searching for the good, even when things don't feel good. It can be a hard day, but there is always some positive in there somewhere.

Things that are making me happy...
:: seeing Noah hold Katia's hand as they go for their morning walk. I didn't bring my camera with me (wish I had), but at the same time, sometimes it is nice to just tuck those memories in my mind/heart.
:: playing board games with my boy. I love he is getting to the age where he can focus long enough on a game. I love when we can hang out just him and I and play a game together. Quality time.
:: being outside, even if it is cold and still winter here. I might as well embrace it right? I might as well accept that I live in the North (where winter seems to never end), and at least enjoy this fresh clean air that we have.
:: a good show to watch. I seriously am loving and devouring Downton Abbey.
:: recognizing and honouring my feelings. It feels good to pay attention to yourself.

on my continued search ...

Yesterday was one of those days with extreme highs and lows. At times I wasn't sure of many things. Am I gonna make it through the day without exploding (and regretting it later)? Why is my son soooooo loud and overly hyper? And why for the love of God, must my daughter cry so much (teething and a stomach bug might be the answer). Instead of being a really grouchy mama, I did my very best to pull it together, simplify and do what was easy. And we survived I'm happy to tell you.

Yesterday involved pulling out some tricks from my sleeve, like a circle time and yoga first thing in the morning, a picnic on our living room floor for lunch, a visit to our local library (where we scored some great books).

Yesterday also involved some not so perfect moments, moments where I felt like I was going to pull out my hair. Trying to make dinner with my crazy/rambunctious/crying children at my feet, cleaning up poopy diaper after poopy diaper, feeling defeated and ready to throw in the towel.

And still, in the middle of the chaos and noise, I looked for quiet/calm moments. Nap time brings a much needed and welcomed moment where I can stop and straighten up the house, as well as my perspective.

In my attempt to simplify and find happiness (and balance), I am learning to say no to the things aren't a priority and it feels good. For some reason over the past few years, I have really stopped listening to my inner self, and have taken on too much for myself (and the family). It feels really good to be able to stand up for myself and say no. I guess I thought that it would really disappoint those who are around me if I always say "no", but really it turns out, that people don't mind so much. I'm proud to say that I am getting over my people pleasing ways (and in turn, doing things because I actually want to do them).

Things are good these days. I am finding the time again for the things that are important to me. Painting, reading, listening to music, reading with the kids. I know this may sound somewhat hokey, but I am really starting to feel awakened from .... I don't know what. I'm feeling more present these days, in the moment (the good ones and the bad). Maybe it's because the light is returning in our days. Maybe it's because we escaped for a bit. I'm not sure exactly, but I feel like a fog has been lifted. It feels good.

Happy weekend dear friends.

xox

 (a thermos of hot chocolate packed up and ready to take to the park on a sunny warm winter day)

it came and went

 birthday breakfast- she had more than this...this was just for show ;O) 

 loving her birthday gifts

eating some of her mama's chili - she loved it!

I thought I would be a real mess come November 28th. The thought of my baby turing one, had me teary eyed leading up to the day, but then it came and went, without a tear... and I'm happy about it.
For me, each birthday, each child, and the way I react to them are always going to be different.
For Noah, he is my first and when we come to a new birthday, it always feels scary for me. Noah is the kid where we always step into the unknown. When he turned three, we never knew what it was like to have a three year old, so yes, it was scary and new and bitter sweet for me.
With Katia turning one, I know what to expect. I know what having a one year old feels like and I am excited to see her continue to grow and learn and change. Sure I will miss her babyness, it seemed to go by so much quicker this time around. But I am also aware that the best is yet to come and that I can't hold onto the past. I just have the now and I need to enjoy it, every step of the way, just as I already did in her first year.
So here is to my big 1 year old girl. Oh how you make us smile Katia. I just love how you bring us so much joy and happiness. Hugs and kisses to you my big girl.
xox

asleep after her birthday party

good things

Our week is busy, busy with good things. Yoga and storytime at the library, visits to Sarah and the twins in the hospital and meals being made for them too. Coffee...many many cups of coffee... and having tea with friends. Preparing for Katia's baptism on Sunday by making a cake that can feed close to 100 people (the whole congregation)... and making sure all our Sunday best clothing is clean and ready. Photo sessions on Friday and Saturday...and a friend's house warming party too. Rendezvous (Yukon's winter festival) will be tied into the mix. Wow does this ever sound like a lot....and this really sounds like a to-do list.
If I come up for air, I'll drop back in.
xox

ps. I love Katia's expression in the first pic. How she's looking at her big brother. It's so sweet to see how much they love each other already. Sigh. 

it's gonna be a good week

Katia's sweet shirt is from our dear friend Dawn. Thank you Dawn. xox

There's nothing like turning the page to a new week and starting it off with a new attitude. Sometimes it takes a good long conversation with a loved one or a story in the news to put everything into perspective. Today I decided that I could turn things around and that this week would be better than the last.

A cup of coffee with a friend. An unexpected but much appreciated visit with another friend. A birthday party for a little 3 year old girl. New craft supplies ... pretty pink sparkles. Crafting with my little guy. Paper hearts for Valentines Day in the window. A brisk walk at noon - by myself - fresh air and a chilly -20. It's the little things that I am focusing on this week.

Hope your week is going well.

xox

late night ramblings

me and my little night owl who decided to join the party

Ah it's the lovely time of 3:30 am. Isn't it ironic that even though I am an exhausted mom of two, I am the one wide awake while everyone else is sleeping? Where is the fairness in that?

So some late night thoughts.

1. I have been spending less and less time online and am loving it. Facebook was becoming a bit of a black hole for me and since realizing how much time I was giving to it and not to my real actual life, I have been much happier. Less Facebook and more real face time I say!
2. I have been craving the city. It's the middle of January and all I want is to walk around a city and go eat in a funky restaurant. To wander through little shops in a Chinatown. To buy some new clothes. To go second hand shopping at some decent thrift shops. To go to a big art gallery. (Vancouver would be nice).
3. I am missing my friends and family (back home) a lot these days. I would just love to be able to go out on a mommydate with my best friend and her baby Henri or to spend an afternoon with my sisters and their kiddos.
4. I wish I had more time in the day to do things. I know this is a sentiment shared by many...but I wish I had more time for making art, doing crafts with Noah, and staying on top of the house cleaning.
5. A recent revelation: homemade bread is tastier, cheaper and more healthy than store bought bread. It's also very easy to make if you have a bread maker.
6. Being a mama for a second time is much easier and more enjoyable than it was the first time. No second guessing my mama instincts this time. I just go with the flow and am taking the time to enjoy Katia and all her babyness. This is all true except for when they are both crying at the same time and both want me. It sucks when I have to make the decision of who gets me and who has to wait. I dislike that part.
7. Going to bed at 8:30 pm is not a good idea for me because then I am up for hours in the middle of the night.

And with that I am going to sign off and attempt to get a few more hours of sleep before the day officially starts. Wish me luck. Good night, good day. Happy Friday.

xox

2011 you were good to us

Happy New Years dear friends. Here's to a brand new year! One that is full of new adventures, new opportunities, and of course the unknown. I hope you had a wonderful time ringing in 2012, we certainly did here.

Our New Year's Eve was a family affair, maybe not as wild as New Year's Eves from the past, but I think it goes down as one of my most favourite New Year's Eve celebrations ever.

Our night included getting dressed up and all four of us (Noah, Katia, Daddy and Mummy) going out for a fancy dinner of sushi. I really enjoyed doing this, because for us, going out for dinner doesn't happen often, so it was really special. The food was delicious and I think Noah felt very special getting to go out all dressed up.

Later on we had our friends Leanne and Jeff over for a countdown/sleepover. Jeff and Leanne (plus Evey and Sunny) live out of town in the country, so it was best for them to stay over night. We had a lot of fun doing a 9pm countdown with the kids, which included sparklers and noisemakers. Whitehorse put on a firework display that could be seen from our upstairs windows, so it was fun to watch them with the lights out. Once the little ones were asleep we all did our best to keep our tired eyes open until midnight. It wasn't much after midnight that we all fell asleep ourselves. It was a simple night that had everything a New Year's Eve celebration should have. Bubbly, sparklers, noise makers, cheesy dance music, good food and great company!

Looking back over 2011, I am reminded that this year brought many wonderful blessings to my family and friend's lives. Starting early in the 2011 we were so elated when we got a positive pregnancy test, setting us off on an exciting pregnancy journey! Buying and moving into our lovely home here in Whitehorse was also a huge excitement for us. Trips home to Ontario , PEI and to Alaska were full of memories and of course the biggest blessing of all for our family in 2011 was the arrival of baby Katia. Some other memorable 2011 events were: my best friend Amy's wedding, Leanne and Jeff's wedding, the birth of baby Shaun-Elliot, baby Henri's arrival, and baby Emma's arrival.

Of course all these big events stand out in my mind as important and special, but I also like to remind myself that the little day to day happenings are just as important in the grand scheme of things too. I've been trying hard to teach myself to appreciate and take notice of all the little details that make life so beautiful, and so in recognition of that, here are a few of my favourite posts from the past year that recognize beauty in life, that show the times that aren't so peachy and the posts that talk about living in " the now" ...

• meanwhile at home
• finding happiness
• lazy days of summer
• on my mind ...
• on feeling present
• reflecting
• today is the greatest day

Happy New Year's dear friends. May this year bring many wonderful things your way.

xox