moving on

Hello there. Yes, it's been a few weeks since I've popped in.
Maybe it's my state of mind, maybe it's all the changes that are about to happen, but lately I've been feeling like I am living outside of my own life. We are here, still living in Beaver Creek, but my mind and heart are in another space. Floating, drifting, waiting.
A while ago, I mentioned that we knew where we were being posted to, and now I can say with all certainty, we are moving to the Wolfvillle, Nova Scotia area. Famous for their Apple Festivals, views of the Bay of Fundy, Acadia University, wine vineyards, rolling hills and farmer's markets. Yes, I do believe we will love this new home of ours, we just need to get there and settle first.
In the next two months, our lives will be a whirlwind. A visit from Winslow's family (here in the Yukon), a house hunting trip to our new stomping grounds, a house that we are in the midst of selling, a cross country drive (with 2 kids, a dog and a trailer). I'm exhausted just thinking of it. I know this is going to be good, but how we will do it all, well that is what I am asking myself.
I keep reminding myself that this is right for us and that we are very fortunate to be moving to this part of the country. It is that hope and anticipation that keeps us going.
More recently, while on a trip into Whitehorse for a few reasons (photography work, landlord stuff, groceries), I ended up in emerg at the hospital for a health scare. After 3 hours of blood work and examinations, I was cleared to go home, and felt much relief.
But still, I couldn't help but feel so tired and bitter about our current living situation.
I was tired of having to do things, like face health scares without my other half being there with me. I was frustrated that after feeling so sick and so crappy, that I still had to do a massive grocery shop, carry it out to the truck, load it up and drive home for 5 hrs. I was yet again, resentful that we are one of the very few communities in the Yukon that don't have a grocery store, meaning that no, I couldn't pick up a few things at the local shop.   *I know our time is almost done, and I know there is much worse suffering out there. I just needed to get these things out in the open. 
Thankfully, upon returning home, I was welcomed by my two beautiful babies, my overly ecstatic dog and my super supportive and patient husband. I know I have it good, this I know and will never take for granted. I just need to remind myself that our prize is almost ours, that we almost there.
And so, there you have it. Our life at the moment. Slightly overwhelming, very exciting and yes... tiring too.
xox

ps. Photos taken at Swan Haven, on Marsh Lake about 40 km from Whitehorse. We went to see the swans and to have a tour at the interpretive center.

beautiful grizzly, too bad there's garbage behind him :( 

canada day 2014

We are gearing up for a sweet, small town Canada Day here in Beaver Creek.
Long are the days of squeezing onto the Hill, cramming to catch a glimpse of the Prime Minister and joining 100's of thousands of other party goers. There won't be fancy fireworks (it doesn't get dark here), there won't be any big name musicians playing on the Hill at night time.
Nowadays, we enjoy the simple life. The parade, the face painting, and cupcakes ... with sweet little Canada flags.
This year I will help my kids bike along in the parade, while hubby marches on in the front (wearing his red serge). I will paint faces for the kids, and help the decorate their bicycles with red and white.
It will be simple, quiet, easy and just what we like.
Most of all it will be quintessentially Canadian. Up in the far North, surrounded by some of the most breathtaking scenery our beautiful country has to offer, and my Mountie, marching in the parade.
Make no mistake, I am one fiercely proud Canadian
Happy Canada Day friends!
xox

here's 50 of the 100 cupcakes that I am making for our Canada Day bbq!

like family to us

photo credit: Photography by Laura Wheeler

I have so much to share about what we've been up to, our day to day lives, and ideas that I have floating through my head...

but today, today is about remembering and respecting our three RCMP fallen members. 

I'm not quite sure if people who aren't in constant contact with law enforcers can understand why this tragedy has hit us so deeply. While my family does not know any of the families who have lost their loved ones personally, we still feel this loss so very much, as we are connected as a larger family. 

For us, especially since moving to the North, our RCMP friends have become family to us. So far from home and family, it has often been our RCMP family that has been there with us to celebrate holidays such as Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter. Our children's birthdays have been shared with them, the birth of our daughter too. When we were new to the North, we were instantly welcomed into the circle, and we too have made sure to welcome newcomers when they come. The RCMP is like a family to us, and just like family, there can be differences and disagreements.... but at the end of the day we are family. 

There have been nights in my life as an RCMP spouse, where I couldn't sleep. Rocked to the core when I heard about the death of a member, I remember staying on the phone hours with another spouse, crying and talking about our deepest fears. 

There have been mornings (after a night shift), when Winslow hasn't come home yet. Too many times infact. I expected him home by 7am, and it would be 10 or 11am and I still hadn't heard from him. I try to go on about our normal routine. Make the coffee, make the kids breakfast, but all I can do is keep looking at the kitchen clock. Finally, I hear the sweet sounds of his feet clumping up the front steps and the door opens. In walks my exhausted husband, after a 14 or 15 hrs over night shift. He has been out in the cold all night, been helping others or dealing with difficult situations, while we slept away at home. I can't even imagine it.  My heart can rest again and we go back to our normal day. 

The crisp sound of velcro being ripped apart. If you are a spouse to a law enforcer, you know that means that they are home safely after another shift. Taking off their uniform, and the bullet proof vest they wear under their shirt. It is a familiar and comforting sound. 

The time Sarah and I drove up to Mayo Yukon together to be there for our friend Allison, exactly one year after her dear Michael had drowned while on duty in the Stewart River. 

All of these experiences are ingrained in me, and are a part of how we live as a police family. When we heard the news that three RCMP members had been killed in a horrific act, aimed directly at police, I think it is safe to say that most spouses for a split second, went to that place in their hearts. That place where we know that it could have been or could be our partners.  We hurt, real deep hurt for those families, because we are them and they are us. 

Today as we watched the regiment funeral from our force house here in our little isolated post, we sighed, wept and showed our respect to our fellow RCMP family members. We will remember the sacrifice and job that these men did. We will never forget them, or the families that they leave behind. 

RIP Cst.Ross, Cst. Larche and Cst. Gevaudan

For a beautiful recap of the funeral, and the vulnerability of the RCMP at this time, this is a good video to watch. 

waaaaaay back when :) July 2007 at Winslow's graduation dinner in Regina. Man he's a hottie in that red serge.