canoe cove

 We just returned from a week in PEI with our family from Ottawa, and from the island. It was everything I always knew PEI to be. 
PEI holds all kinds of memories for me, mostly beautiful memories of my childhood summers, but also some memories of heart break and disappointment. I'm happy to say, this visit was a happy one. One filled with beautiful memories, that we will tuck away in our heart until next time. 
We stayed at a little seaside cottage in Canoe Cove, right on the Northumberland Straight. The water and sands were warm. The tides came and went. We found star fish, crabs and moon snails. We watched seals play in the water and rest on the sandbars. It was beautiful. 
We also made our way around the island, doing the amusement parks and Anne of Green Gables in Cavendish (I don't love amusement parks, but seeing the kids' faces light up was sweet), and doing some shopping at the PEI Preserve Company and in Charlottetown. 
We also celebrated three birthdays while there, Noah, Nanas and Maya's, and we ate plenty of Cows icecream- Apple Crisp is by far my favourite flavour. 
PEI, you were good to us. You gave us walks on the beach, beach glass to find, delicious food to enjoy and so much more. 
Until next time. 
xox

summer train of thought

Tea with friends. Fires on the beach. Many kms clocked. Jumping in the ocean. Cold prickles all over my arms. Sand everywhere. People who know you best. Changes are hard. Accepting changes can be harder. Ask yourself the tough questions. Summer is fleeting. Grieving what was once. Crying is ok. Back to school shoes. Beginning to plan ahead. Sleep interrupted. Goals and dreams. Overwhelmed and unsure. Tired AF. Envy. Water your own grass. Should we go away? Be intentional. Slow the fuck down. Don't feel pressured. Mint tea from the garden. Chives stored away for the winter. I want slow and simple. My priorities won't change.

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summer thoughts

It's mid July. Summer had a cool and wet start to it, but we are now starting to kick it up a notch, with hot days and all sorts of summery things. 
We just returned from a 5 day camping trip to Ingonish, Cape Breton. We had gone there 2 years ago, when Wes was one and a half. We had only spent two nights there in 2017, so this time, we chose to stay four nights, and it was very nice. 
Lets be honest here, camping with three kids and a dog is not exactly a relaxing vacation by any means, but as the years go by, it becomes more and more apparent, that time is moving by far too quickly, and that these memories that we are making with our children will last forever in their minds. It's hard to believe that we just have a handful of summers with Noah before he becomes too old to hang out with us. Of course I'll still drag him to places with us- but it won't be the same. He's getting older, and I need to enjoy this time that we have. 
As hard as camping was (lack of sleep due to the 5 am wake up call from the crows, bright sun at 5:30 AM), I also see the value of camping with kids. On top of their excitement for sleeping in a tent and having campfires every night, camping made them see that we have to work together as a family to make it enjoyable. We all found ways to help - setting up camp, cooking, washing dishes, making a fire, watching Wes, tearing down camp - as family we had to work together to make it successful. Definitely an important lesson to take from it. 
Over the next few weeks we will be busy, but we will also find time to just relax. Katia will be doing tennis camp, Noah will be attending overnight camp, we have the Nimans coming to visit, a cottage booked with Winslow's sister and family in PEI, and then my sister is coming to visit us for the last week of August. In amongst all that, I hope there will be days at the beach, days in Halls Harbour, ice cream and BBQs, reading, painting and crafts, and just hanging out. We have our little pool set up in the backyard, and we're just waiting for some really hot days so that we can enjoy it. Also, one of my most simple summer pleasures? Drinking coffee on my back deck, first thing in the morning.
Happy summer dear friends, may there be many simple summer pleasures for you! 

sunny days ahead

Summer is officially over in my books. School started today.
Last night, I got the kids to bed early. They had baths/showers, we read books, said prayers, and I reassured (once again) Noah, that he would be just fine tomorrow.
Once they fell asleep, I got to my usual chores of cleaning the dishes, sweeping the floors, but this time, I also pulled out the lunch bags, and began to fill them with snacks. Fresh fruit and fresh veggies, always. A little salty snack of crackers or veggie straws. A homemade cookie. A yoghurt (for Noah only). And a note... always a note on the first day. Today begins a new chapter for them. A new year of learning. A new teacher to help form their minds. New friends. I'm excited for them. I truly am.

...

Sunflowers.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I adore and I mean ADORE sunflowers. They make me over the moon happy. I can't NOT be happy when I look at one. So this year, with hope that I would have a garden FULL of sunflowers, I planted 3 packets full of seeds.
I started one packet indoors, in little biodegradable pots. They looked great. I even sang to them, hoping it would help them grow (why not?). I have one. ONE of them left growing.
Then I planted a second packet out doors. I have TWO left of those. And then my mammoth sunflowers. As back up and assurance, I planted a third packet of mammoth sunflowers, with high hopes that surely, these would grow into lovely large sunflowers. Well I guess the bluejays had other ideas, and again, I am left with one, yes ONE mammoth sunflower.
And so, for anyone still interested, these photos are of my prize winning (this survivor deserves a prize) mammoth sunflower. It's a thing of beauty I tell you.
Also, just for extra sunflower goodness, the kids and I visited a sunflower maze not too long ago. The price was a bit of a deterrent for me in years past, but this year, I made the most of our visit and brought my camera along for some nice pictures.

...

Life lessons.

This summer has been one for self growth. I have come to some self realizations that were hard for me to come to, but now I can see that I am better for them.
I have come to acknowledge and accept that I deal with anxiety on a pretty large scale. Accepting it has been a journey. Recently I began to experience some physical symptoms due to my anxiety, and that made me realize that I need to take the next step.
I have also come to see that I must and need to set boundaries around myself. Saying no, knowing my priorities, choosing carefully who I spend my time with  and who I give my energy to... these are all things that I am learning to do better.
I feel that it's important to remain open and honest about mental health. For me, I have my own personal stigmas with it, due to my mother's history of mental health issues. I often worry that I will end up like her (if I'm being honest), and that is something I don't care to do.
So onwards I go. I'm going to continue to push through, to find strategies and ways to cope with this. I'm going to do better for myself and my family.

little bits and pieces

You know that feeling you get right around mid August?
Summer is still alive and well, and you know you ought to take advantage of it, but secretly deep down in your heart, you are ready to slow it down a bit.
This summer has been a strange one to me. It has sped by at an alarming rate, and part of me wonders where it all went. I sort of feel like we've been going and going, but I'm not exactly sure what we've done or accomplished. Its been busy, and we've done a lot. I'm not ready for summer to be done, but I feel that change in the air ... it's coming.
July brought us a camping trip to Cape Breton, a week of day camp for the kids, trips to Queensland Beach, Annapolis Royal and our 10 year wedding anniversary.
In August so far, we have had Amy+Anthony+family visit, as well as my sister, niece and nephew.
It's been busy, it feels busy, but I also know there have been little moments too. Moments worth remembering. Things like swinging on the swing Winslow made. Searching for sea glass. Walks on the beach with my girl. Meals on the back deck. And ice cream ... boy has there been ice cream.

...

This past summer has also been one of growing for me. A few weeks ago, I came to a point in a relationship with a friend, where I knew that I had to call things off. It had been a while coming. Multiple incidents had lead me to feel used, unappreciated and unvalued. I had to be honest. I had to stand up for myself. It was hard, but I am so proud of myself for doing it.
And since doing it, I have found a new sense of worth in myself. I have come to see that I need not internalize other people's behaviour and actions. That I don't need to sit there quietly and accept things as they are. That I must be my own friend first, set boundaries and that it is ok and necessary to put myself first.

A few other things that I have come to realize.

~ the term "friend" should not be thrown around lightly. A real friend is someone you can trust, rely on, and who will be there no matter what. I have some amazing friends in my life. These people know who they are, and I know who they are. They come with no strings attached. They love me for me, and I love them for them. It is simple. It is not complicated. It is real.

~ I am trying so damn hard to stay away from Facebook. I have come to the realization that Facebook makes me very unhappy. That the constant feed of people's opinions, news, updates ect, is addicting and negative. I am taking a break. It is hard. By habit (when I am nursing, or getting Wes down for a nap), I like to browse Facebook. But I am recognizing that I am addicted to it. That I mindlessly scroll through it, spending hours a day, comparing, analyzing, and internalizing other people's lives. It's just not good, and I am done for a while.

~ Self care. This is a word I have used before, but I have come to a point where I feel it is so absolutely necessary. I am about to be on my own with the kids for 2 weeks, while Winslow goes to Labrador for work. As a proactive measure, I booked in a babysitter to come 3 times, for a total of 6 hrs. During those times, I have decided that I will do things that serve myself. I will go to my favourite coffee shop. Read a book. Go for a walk. Call a friend. It will be my time to replenish.
Other thoughts on self care.... it is not about stuff (new clothes, treating to expensive items ect), it is about taking care of my needs, so that in turn, I can continue taking care of those around me that need me.
Self care looks like: a bedtime ritual, getting a good night's sleep, a hot bath, a girly TV show, lemon and mint in my water, eating a healthy grown up lunch (not someone's left over chicken nuggets), being real and honest with people around me and myself, trips to the beach, walks in the woods, coffee in the morning (or whenever I need it), things that smell good.

...

And so, that is it for now. I am truly feeling a sense of change in myself and in the season right now. I am doing my best to keep an open heart, for what is about to come next. I know soon we will be back to the bustle of school, activities, and life. I am looking forward to this return to normal and routine, but will also miss the lazy long mornings, and having my two older ones home so much. So these last 2 weeks will be about squeezing those final summer moments. They will also be about slowing down and savouring the moment.

xox

here we go!

Life lately... 

late bedtimes, soccer, bonfires, strawberry picking, trips to the beach, last days of school, reading Harry Potter (2), hikes in the woods, gardening, growing up and getting her ears pierced, growing up and graduating from Beavers, a Father's Day pizza picnic on the beach.

Time is skipping by, and already we are at the beginning of July. This next month will bring us camping at Blomidon PP, Canada Day 150 in Halifax, and a much anticipated 5 day camping trip to Cape Breton. There will be more soccer, some day camps, the summer reading program and swimming lessons too. And of course plenty of unplanned adventures, such as picnics, ice cream missions, beach days and more. 

I'm ready for summer. I'm ready to spend time with the kids, on our own agenda. I'm ready to slow things down or speed up the pace ... what ever we need. I'm ready for time outside. Coffee on the back porch. Veggies from the garden. Reading on a blanket. Movies in the backyard, and sketch book art. 

Here we go folks! Summer is here.