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Thursday, September 7, 2017

sunny days ahead

Summer is officially over in my books. School started today.
Last night, I got the kids to bed early. They had baths/showers, we read books, said prayers, and I reassured (once again) Noah, that he would be just fine tomorrow.
Once they fell asleep, I got to my usual chores of cleaning the dishes, sweeping the floors, but this time, I also pulled out the lunch bags, and began to fill them with snacks. Fresh fruit and fresh veggies, always. A little salty snack of crackers or veggie straws. A homemade cookie. A yoghurt (for Noah only). And a note... always a note on the first day. Today begins a new chapter for them. A new year of learning. A new teacher to help form their minds. New friends. I'm excited for them. I truly am.


Anyone who knows me, knows that I adore and I mean ADORE sunflowers. They make me over the moon happy. I can't NOT be happy when I look at one. So this year, with hope that I would have a garden FULL of sunflowers, I planted 3 packets full of seeds.
I started one packet indoors, in little biodegradable pots. They looked great. I even sang to them, hoping it would help them grow (why not?). I have one. ONE of them left growing.
Then I planted a second packet out doors. I have TWO left of those. And then my mammoth sunflowers. As back up and assurance, I planted a third packet of mammoth sunflowers, with high hopes that surely, these would grow into lovely large sunflowers. Well I guess the bluejays had other ideas, and again, I am left with one, yes ONE mammoth sunflower.
And so, for anyone still interested, these photos are of my prize winning (this survivor deserves a prize) mammoth sunflower. It's a thing of beauty I tell you.
Also, just for extra sunflower goodness, the kids and I visited a sunflower maze not too long ago. The price was a bit of a deterrent for me in years past, but this year, I made the most of our visit and brought my camera along for some nice pictures.


Life lessons.

This summer has been one for self growth. I have come to some self realizations that were hard for me to come to, but now I can see that I am better for them.
I have come to acknowledge and accept that I deal with anxiety on a pretty large scale. Accepting it has been a journey. Recently I began to experience some physical symptoms due to my anxiety, and that made me realize that I need to take the next step.
I have also come to see that I must and need to set boundaries around myself. Saying no, knowing my priorities, choosing carefully who I spend my time with  and who I give my energy to... these are all things that I am learning to do better.
I feel that it's important to remain open and honest about mental health. For me, I have my own personal stigmas with it, due to my mother's history of mental health issues. I often worry that I will end up like her (if I'm being honest), and that is something I don't care to do.
So onwards I go. I'm going to continue to push through, to find strategies and ways to cope with this. I'm going to do better for myself and my family.

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