dear fall

Dear Fall, you know I love you. I love your colours, your smells, your cooler temperatures, your permission to slow down. I love your pumpkins of all different colours and sizes. The pale green and pink Cinderella ones are especially pretty.
Fall, I love how you usher in the slow season, with the invitation to eat warm soups and drink spicy tea. I love that it's ok, to cozy up with blankets and a favourite movie . And that orange twinkle lights on the mantle are perfectly acceptable. 
Fall, I love that you bring us back to the heart of the home. All summer, we play and explore our beautiful province, but in the Fall- we cozy up and find comfort inside this place that we love.
Dear Fall, you are my favourite season of all. 

a magazine cover, Fall and family first

Nov. 21st, and it feels like forever since I last came here to jot down my thoughts, ideas, notions. It occurred to me this morning, while having my shower, that I really do miss blogging. I miss the idea of having a place to keep all of these special details. My blog is really like my journal, and I like how it helps me work through things. So my goal for the future is to come back to this space, and use it as a way to journal, record and share. 

So here we go. An update of sorts. Let's start with Bella Grace Magazine.
Last month, as I was doing some errands with a sick little Wesley slumped over my shoulder, I walked past the magazine isle at Walmart , and stopped to take a glance. There, out of my peripheral vision, I immediately noticed it. My image, on the cover of a magazine! I picked it up right away, my hands shaking. I started to cry. Tears just consumed me. I was overcome with happiness and shock.
To answer some questions, no I was not notified that my image would be used. Yes, I submitted it to their magazine- with hopes that maybe, it might get used somewhere in one of their publications. It was very exciting for me! So this was a big lesson to me. Try and get your work out there. It just might get on the cover of one of your favourite magazines!
For anyone who reads this blog (is there anyone out there???) You can follow my photography work on Facebook and Instagram, search Johanna Rosolen Photography.
In personal family news, this past month has brought us to the realization that we are ready to make one last move. After many many many late night conversations, Winslow and I came to the decision and compromise, that we would try our best to get a transfer back towards the Ottawa area. It hasn't happened yet, but we are hoping for sometime in 2019.
This decision comes with an intense sadness, in knowing that this beautiful place that I love so dearly, won't be the place where we plant our roots. I truly thought and hoped it would, yet I think I always knew deep down that no matter how wonderful this place was, we miss our family too much-and this is the time to do it. Our kids are still kids, and I want them to have a childhood with their family (my sister, Winslow's family, my best friends). I want them to know what it feels like to be surrounded with family and love.
Just yesterday, I realized that I have been a mother for 10 years. Of those 10 years, I have never had family nearby. It feels like such a huge relief to know that we won't have to be alone anymore. That we will have people nearby.
And so here we are, nearing the end of November. November and December are our busy months in this family. First we have Katia's birthday on Nov. 28th, and then Wesley's birthday on Dec.15th. Throw in some Christmas concerts, a Christmas play at church, hockey (for Katia), basketball (for Noah), photography mini sessions, and 2 birthday parties- and you can imagine how I feel at this time of year. Today I said no to one cookie exchange (they always stress me the $#@* out) and I am also going to say no to anything else that doesn't jive with me. It's just not worth the stress.

I want to share what we did for Katia's birthday, but I think I will make a separate post all together for it. It was too epic, not to have it's own dedicated post.

So there we have it folks. The holidays are on the horizon and I am full on ready for it. The twinkle lights are up- because twinkle lights just make me happier.
Be back soon. xoo

Happy Fall

So much time has passed since I last came here to write. 
Life has picked back up again, since September came along. School, activities, and a big one - I returned to teaching after nearly 10 years of a break. Of course I volunteered in classrooms, ran playgroups, was a visiting artist over those 10 years, but I am now a substitute teacher and am keeping busy with 2-3 days of work a week. 
This new job works very well for us, for a number of reasons. The biggest one being the flexibility. I can work the days I want, and be home on the days I want. I have a job that I like, but I don't have to do all the prep, assessment or extra work that teachers normally do. So yes, as you can imagine, we are busy. 
The thing is though, I truly am being mindful of this "busy" chapter that we are beginning here. It's very easy for things to become undone, when we all have to be in different places at once. 
I'm trying my best to carve out down time for us all, to manage the commitments, to prioritize what is most important. 

Things that are important to me are: 

~ family dinners
~ quiet weekends (sometimes that means church, a walk in the woods, time for the kids to play with neighbours)
~ connecting with friends for meals, walks, coffee.... real life connection

~ reading, cooking, being at home
~ picking up my camera to document our days and moments

And so here we are in October. My very favourite time of year. Thanksgiving, deep red leaves, crisp days, burnt orange pumpkins. I wish these days would never end, but perhaps there is a short window, so that we know just how much to appreciate it. 


Happy Fall dear friends. May there be many walks in the woods. May you have a cozy sweater to wrap yourself in. May the air smell of cinnamon and wood smoke. Happy Fall. 


xox

November wrap up and beyond!

There's so much to catch up on, a month's worth of moments, memories, revelations, lessons.
November came and went quite quickly (as it always seems to do).
We had a short visit over to PEI to see my mom, and that went .... well as expected.
My relationship, history and everything is complicated with my mom. To simplify the whole story, I usually tell people that ask, "my mom has never had very good mental health", but the truth is, there is so much ore to it, and things that I am still uncovering.
It's complicated when I go to visit her, but I do it. I do it for her. I do it for the kids to have some memory of her. I do it for myself too, I suppose. Still, it's not easy.

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November also brought the first round of illness to our family.  It was a good 2 weeks of the kids taking turns at staying home from school, and myself feeling utterly horrid. Two words, sinus infection. Ouch! Glad that's over.

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And the end of November brought us one very special girl's birthday. Katia turned 6. Although I said this to her, you've always seemed much older than you are. When you were 2, you acted like a 4 year old... so to me, it was always strange calling her 5, because she acts so grown up and independent.
This year for Katia's birthday party, we held a pretend sleepover party. This meant, everyone wore pyjamas. We had pizza. Did fun "sleep over" games like, Broken Telephone and the Question Ball. We had our teenage babysitter and her friend come to our house and do the girl's nails, and of course we watched a movie and had popcorn. It was the most fun and easiest party we've ever held.
For Katia's actual birthday, we got her a special gift - her own fish! When Noah turned 6, he got a fish tank in his room, and Katia would not let us forget that it was her turn for a fish! So meet her new fish Teal. Her favourite colour!

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And so that brings us up to December! Wow, I can't believe the holidays are here in front of us.
I am trying to finish up the last of my 2017 photo sessions and then will madly be making some Christmas gifts (note to self, start in the summer next year!).
I'll be honest, at first, the thought of Christmas started to make me feel anxious and unhappy. I was worried that feelings of loneliness and sadness would start to take over. For many reasons, the holidays are not always easy for me. But then, after taking some time to really address some of the reasons I feel this way, I started to look at the holidays differently.
Instead of trying to supress and push away those feelings of sadness, I decided to face them- head on. I wanted to know where they were coming from, and how I could deal with it.
I also decided that for years, I had put a lot of pressure on myself to make the holidays "perfect" (which we all know, does NOT exist). In years past, I would busy myself with crafts and baking and high expectations. I think I thought that if I tried hard enough, the happy and perfect memories would become real. Instead, this lead me to anxiety and stress.
So this year I am giving myself permission to do as much or as little as I want. I am also really asking myself, if what I am doing serves me (not just the kids). There's no use in having a stressed out mom at Christmas. It's just not fun.
So here we are, into December, and choosing only to do the activities that I really enjoy.
So far, we've done: decorate your own gingerbread houses (aka, graham crackers), organizing a caroling party,