everyday magic

A New Year is upon us, and it presents us with an opportunity to look back on the past 365 days that we just had. Perhaps the last year brought you hardships and difficult waters to navigate, perhaps it brought adventure and joy. Perhaps it was a mix of everything, highs and lows, ups and downs, good days and bad.
For me, when I take a moment to look back on the last year, I am reminded that while we didn't do a great many BIG things, it was the little everyday things that made our year oh so full and magical.
While we didn't get to go on any big trips as a family,  we adventured instead in our own beautiful neck of the woods- camping, hiking, swimming and eating local.
While we didn't win the jackpot or make a big promotion at work,  we found happiness, fulfilment and gratitude for what have. And boy do we have a lot.
While my husband and I didn't get to go away together, as we have been dreaming about for years, we found ways to make the most of our time together. Little pockets of time in the day, when the kids are at school, or the occasional date night - time we carve out for each other. After all the years, we still love each other and want to be with one another. What's better than that?
And so, here I am to say that life doesn't have to be full of expensive trips or fancy things to make you happy. There is magic in the everyday, and in celebration of that, I am going to list the most magical things that happened to me in the last year.

~ we kayaked on the open ocean. Felt the sea salt water splash in our faces. Bobbed along the water with the seals just feet away from us.
~ I finally hiked the Cape Split trail. Something that had been on my bucket list for years. The view at the end was spectacular.
~ I found sea stars and beach glass with Katia in the city harbour. Treasures, just waiting to be discovered.
~ I poured out my heart to a room full of photography enthusiasts. It was terrifying and liberating all at once.
~ We went camping for four nights in Cape Breton as a family. We saw beautiful coastal scapes, ate campfire spaghetti, had many smores, slept terribly but cuddled together in a tent.
~ I decided to let me hair go grey. No more hiding who I am. No more apologizing for who I am.
~ We rented a cottage in PEI and found it to be the most magical spot. Seals banked on the sandbars, starfish and hermit crabs in the warm waters. Owls swooping overhead at dusk. Coffee on the beach each morning. Heaven.
~ I celebrated 1 year of being sober. I chose to look at my feelings and problems head on. I chose to heal myself, and take care of myself.

~ We planted a little garden box in our backyard and in exchange had many green and yellow beans to munch on. The lettuce didn't do so great, neither did the peppers- but you can always count on the beans- and they taste so great fresh from the vine.
~ Spontaneously, we hired a babysitter, and my husband and I jumped on his motorcycle, like we used to do 14 years ago and went out for Thai food.
~ I held a workshop for creative women to come together and make art, discuss home life, make floral arrangements and talk about photography.
~ We had campfires on the beach with our Ottawa friends. As we watched the sun set, we made sure to give it a big applause. I still remember the sparks flying in the wind and the sound of the waves crashing on the shore.

Happy New Year dear friends. This year, I'm choosing to nurture and cultivate a grateful heart. What magical everyday moments happened to this past year? 

summer thoughts

It's mid July. Summer had a cool and wet start to it, but we are now starting to kick it up a notch, with hot days and all sorts of summery things. 
We just returned from a 5 day camping trip to Ingonish, Cape Breton. We had gone there 2 years ago, when Wes was one and a half. We had only spent two nights there in 2017, so this time, we chose to stay four nights, and it was very nice. 
Lets be honest here, camping with three kids and a dog is not exactly a relaxing vacation by any means, but as the years go by, it becomes more and more apparent, that time is moving by far too quickly, and that these memories that we are making with our children will last forever in their minds. It's hard to believe that we just have a handful of summers with Noah before he becomes too old to hang out with us. Of course I'll still drag him to places with us- but it won't be the same. He's getting older, and I need to enjoy this time that we have. 
As hard as camping was (lack of sleep due to the 5 am wake up call from the crows, bright sun at 5:30 AM), I also see the value of camping with kids. On top of their excitement for sleeping in a tent and having campfires every night, camping made them see that we have to work together as a family to make it enjoyable. We all found ways to help - setting up camp, cooking, washing dishes, making a fire, watching Wes, tearing down camp - as family we had to work together to make it successful. Definitely an important lesson to take from it. 
Over the next few weeks we will be busy, but we will also find time to just relax. Katia will be doing tennis camp, Noah will be attending overnight camp, we have the Nimans coming to visit, a cottage booked with Winslow's sister and family in PEI, and then my sister is coming to visit us for the last week of August. In amongst all that, I hope there will be days at the beach, days in Halls Harbour, ice cream and BBQs, reading, painting and crafts, and just hanging out. We have our little pool set up in the backyard, and we're just waiting for some really hot days so that we can enjoy it. Also, one of my most simple summer pleasures? Drinking coffee on my back deck, first thing in the morning.
Happy summer dear friends, may there be many simple summer pleasures for you! 

full circle

I feel like I have spent the better half of my adult years, searching for a sense of belonging. Part of it is that we are and RCMP family, and for the last 12 years we have been transient, but there is more to it than that, and I’ve been digging away at it for quite some time.
This past year, when we came to our 3 year Nova Scotia anniversary, my better half began to get that all too familiar RCMP transfer itch. Things were becoming a little too comfy and familiar for him. He wanted that shake up, that each past transfer gave him. I on the other hand, had no interest in moving again.
Finally, things were going really well for me personally. Professionally, socially, mentally. I was in a good place. An amazing place. I didn’t want to give it up again.
We had many  late night conversations. I had many  panic attacks. I cried. We fought. We discussed. It was an uncertain time, one that was met with a lot of worry and anxiety (on my part).
After a few weeks of going back and forth, we came to a middle ground, and decided that a protentional move to Ottawa could be the solution. We began to look seriously into it. We looked at work options and housing options. We made the mistake of sharing this with the kids and our family. It felt like it could be right, but it also felt like we were giving up so much.
Perhaps it’s with age. Perhaps we have found the perfect place for us. But when we were going through these difficult few months, all that kept coming back to me was how great we have it where we are. Our town, the community there, our neighbours, my friends that I have carefully made. The photography clientele I have built, the possibilities of continuing with teaching, the options for Winslow. The landscape, the ocean, the camping, the forests. It’s what I have been searching for and wanting for so long, and now we are certain that it is where we want to be. But beyond the fact that I love Nova Scotia so much, I feel like I have come to a place in my life that I have been looking for, for such a long time. I am at such a peaceful place in my life and I'm not willing to give that up. Yes, we are giving up the dream of living close to family- which is a big pill to swallow, but for the first time in my adult years, I don't feel like I am missing a piece of myself. I used to search for something that was missing... something that stemmed from not having a strong/healthy/consistent relationship with my parents and not having a "family home" to ever return to. I was always missing, grieving, searching for a substitute to that - but I no longer feel that void. 
So here we are. We've come full circle, to decide that this is where we are going to plant our roots. It feels good, so good. And I'm happy. 

autumn blessings

Wow, it's hard  to believe that September came and went so quickly. I feel like I spent much of the month, finding our footing and getting ourselves back into a good routine.
In September, school started, storytime at the library resumed, early mornings, packed lunches and early bedtimes all started up again. After much contemplation, we signed the kids up for some extra curricular activities. Katia is in dance class, and loves it. Noah is doing x-country (just for the Fall), basketball and Cubs. I was very hesitant about adding too much to our already busy lives, and wanted to make sure that the kids had a balance of free time too. While Noah is doing quite a bit it seems, we are watching closely to make sure the he is enjoying himself and not over doing it.
The end of the September brings my birthday, and this year I felt really good about accepting my day. I feel at a good place in my life. I feel like I am finally being honest with myself and FINALLY giving myself the care that I have been so good at giving everyone else. Why did it take me this long, I'm not sure, but here I am. Being kinder  to myself, more patient with myself, and in turn, kinder and patient with the ones I love. A good birthday gift to give myself, I'd say.
I always think September will feel like our Nova Scotia anniversary. While we in fact arrived in August of 2015, it really was September, where I felt like we planted our feet. I remember, Noah starting grade 1 at KCA, and thinking it was such a BIG school. I remember my little Katia, still 3 years old! starting at preschool. And here we are, 2 years later. It's been 2 years of being here in Nova Scotia and I have to say, I finally feel settled. There's been some rocky parts. Some big life changes (hello baby Wesley!) and more, but I can finally say that I feel good here now. I feel grounded. I feel like we belong here.
Autumn is here and one of my most favourite holidays is this weekend, Thanksgiving. I really love Thanksgiving because it's purpose and meaning is probably the least commercial of all the holidays. It's to simply, give thanks. There are no big fancy gifts to purchase and give. There's no pressure to spend months building it up. There's no high expectations from little ones (all they care for is pie!). To me, it's simple and pure.
This year, we plan to visit some new RCMP friends for brunch on Sat. Then we head to our other RCMP friends in Bridgewater for Sunday dinner. On Monday we will have our own small Thanksgiving dinner at our home. I am very aware that these visits can only happen, with the fortune of us all being in good health. For the last 2 years, we have been repeatedly sick come Fall, and this year, we seem (knock on wood) to be doing very well. I'm so thankful for this.
And so I leave off with a few photos from our time at the Kentville Harvest Festival (and some other random ones). I still can't believe our luck, that we chose to live in a town that is centered around the harvest season! Our town mascot is a Pumpkin Person. The town puts on Pumpkin People displays for the month of October. We have a Harvest Highway. We have pumpkin patches, corn mazes and more! It's seriously heaven on earth for anyone who is an Autumn freak like me!
There has been much sadness in the world as of late, and I know that it can feel so overwhelming at times. While on one hand, I want and believe that we should all speak up and be involved, I also feel that it's ok to protect one's heart and mind from such sadness all the time. I saw a quote that said, we do not have to personally take on all of the hardships of the world. We do not have to take on all the grief either. I think it's important to be gentle and kind with ourselves too.
So happy Autumn and Happy Thanksgiving. Let's take a moment to give thanks for even the most small and simple of blessings. xox

making memories

We just returned from a 5 day family camping trip to Cape Breton, and I am still basking in the memories of our time there. 

This trip was so much more than just a get away. It was a trip to spend time together. To see and explore a place we had never been to before. It was an adventure. An invitation to play. An opportunity to reconnect. 

For 5 days, we played, hiked, swam, built sandcastles, ate delicious food, had campfires, explored and hung out. We flew kites, told stories, read Harry Potter, played at the many Parks Canada playgrounds, had ice cream and picnics. We fished for minnows in a lake, drank coffee around the campfire, ate a simple breakfast down by the beach, drove along the beautiful Cabot Trail, took in amazing scenery, and visited little shops along the way. It was just what we needed, and I know these memories will be ones that we all hold onto for years to come. 

Cape Breton (just as everyone told me), was a beautiful place, where the views are phenomenal and the people are kind and gracious. We have plans to return to this lovely part of Nova Scotia again. It's one of those places that draws you back. 

And for anyone interested, the big hike that we did was called the Skyline Trail. It is close to the Cheticamp entrance to the park. The portion of the hike that we did was just under 7 km. It is an easy trail (flat), and the reward for the hike, is to get to the board walk stairs that take you to a point overlooking the Gulf of the St. Laurence. It's amazing. We didn't get to see any wildlife, but most people do, mayeb if we had gone early or later in the day. 

A few tips, bring snacks (some chocolate helps) for the kids and lots of water. Wear good shoes and a hat. It started off cool, but as we walked, it got hot. 

And so, I leave with just a few of the many photos that I took on our trip. It's amazing to see the life that comes to my photos when I get inspired from travelling. It was also noteworthy, that this trip, although it was still work (camping, cooking, dishwashing .... it's not exactly a break), it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. We all took our turns, helped out, worked together and just sort of let go of any big expectations. I passed a few stops that I had hoped to see, because Wes was sleeping and the kids were tired, but that's ok. We can return next time. The point of the trip was to explore, make memories and have fun. And that's exactly what we did.