slow down

It's not uncommon to find one, if not more kids in my bed at night time. This is not just an occasional thing. I always, and I mean always, have a kid in my bed.
It's no secret that we are co-sleepers in this house. Not your jam? No problem. I get it. Half the time, I fantasize about having our bed all to ourselves too, the other half of the time, I pause and wish with all my might that I will always remember what this feels like.
The kids are growing up. It happens. And I know,  I'm not the only parent to feel this - but oh, how it kind of hurts, to realize that time is not slowing down.
I look at Noah somedays, and take in his face. It's changing. He's taller.
He's asking more complex questions. He's able to go to over night camps - like its no big deal. But he also comes back to me for comfort and refuge- and I'm holding onto those moments. I'm making them count.
Katia is my sweet little six year old. Still in the stage of make believe and play. But I look to her older brother, and know that this time is short- and she won't be here much longer. I remind myself to slow down and take her all in. I tell myself to take my time when I brush or wash her hair. I listen at her door, when I can hear her playing by herself with her toy animals - making up stories and names and voices.  Take it in, I tell myself. Enjoy this now.
And Wes, still my baby, still asking for "nummy nas and bubbas" (nursing and his blanket)...yes, he's still my baby, and always will be- but he is growing and changing so fast too. In January, we were worried about his speech - or there lack of. Now there is no slowing him down. A lady at church commented on his vocabulary. He just can't stop with his questions and observations.
Recently the province of Nova Scotia, announced that they will begin a pre-kindergarten program in our town. Wesley will begin school, one year earlier than we initially thought.
While this may seem like a hard pill to swallow, I am also ready for this. It means we have one more year together, to build those foundations, to go to storytimes, to go on nature walks, to cuddle at nap time. I will make that year count.
From a mama that is standing on the cusp of a new stage of motherhood, I'm here to say this.  It's exciting, but it's also bittersweet. The day to day reality of having my kids get older, is that it is getting easier. The hard part, is that when you slow down enough, you can see that it really does go fast. My advice?  Take it all in. The good, the bad, the hard, the tiring bits ... all of it. And slow down. Learn to enjoy play doh and stickers - one day they won't care for it any more. Read to them as much as you can - one day they won't be interested in those books. Help them wash their hair, and brush their teeth. Enjoy the privilege of being a parent, it's a greatest gift there is.

family traditions, pumpkin waffles and kids.

Every Saturday (and sometimes Sunday) for the months of September and October, I make a big batch of pumpkin spice waffles for breakfast. It is tradition in our house to have waffles or pancakes for breakfast on the weekend, and sometimes bacon too. There are two things that I love about this, 1) the notion of a family tradition. 2) pumpkin spice! Hello Autumn! 

Fall is here, and as usual, we are being treated to a long and beautiful season. There have been hikes, the making of pumpkin people, pumpkin spice and apple spice baking, time for crafting, early nights and crisp mornings. I'm smitten with you Fall. You are my very favourite season. 

Other things I am loving, family traditions. We have a few traditions, that to me, are special and grounding. Family movie night always happens on a Friday night. Throughout the week, we have a no TV policy after dinner time, so Friday night is a welcomed treat for the kids. Popcorn, maybe some hot chocolate and always jammies. I love jammies. 

Other family traditions include, a blessing at dinner time and a prayer at bedtime. We may not have our faith nailed down to a specific affiliation, but that does not mean we don't teach our kids to give thanks and believe in a greater meaning. Prayers offer comfort and reassurance to ourselves and the kids. I like this. 

I love these little traditions that we have built up. I feel like they are special and unique to us. They help us build memories and take a break from the monotony of the everyday. I'm wondering if we might add some other traditions into our week. We used to do pizza Friday (like my friend Sarah), maybe we could get back into that. 

Other things to update. Noah participated in x-country running this Fall and did really well! He consistently came in around the 8th place for all 5 of his meets. 8th out of all the grade 3 boys for our school board! We were super proud of him. 

Katia has been doing a jazz/ballet class and is loving it! We can't wait for her Christmas performance in December. 

And Wesley, well he's just been happy doing his thing. We have been busy going for lots of hikes, out to the library and we've even attended some playgroups (something new for me). 

Life is chugging away, and it's a beautiful thing. 

I have been working hard these past few months at being more honest with myself and dealing with my issues, so that I don't pass them onto my kids (one of my many reasons). Also, I just want to be a happier, more balanced and peaceful self. I'm getting there. 

The other day, while out on my walk, I started to think ahead to my New Years "word". You know, the theme word that I like to choose each year. In the past it was peace, adventure, quiet. Well, I think I have it decided (a first for me), but I am not quite ready to share it. It feels good to be self reflective and to listen to myself.

I'm hoping that Fall is treating everyone out there well. May hygge be alive and well in your homes and hearts. 

speeding by

You know that catch phrase, "I don't want to adult today?"... it so applies to us right now.
After a month straight of being sick with pneumonia in our household (Noah, Katia, myself and Wesley), I some days, just wish I could have someone swoop in and take over all the adult things that we have to do.
Just yesterday, Winslow and I were trying so hard to get in a conversation. Que the crying baby, the little one who wants to tell us about something, and then I stepped backwards and stepped on a Thomas the train. I cursed  and looked at Winslow, and thankfully he grabbed me and gave me a big hug. Right there, I asked him if we could run away, just him and I. I was joking, well kind of.
It's hard right now. I'll say that. It's busy, it's tight, it's hard to not have the extra help... but we'll be ok. It's a season, and seasons come and go, as we all know. Right now is hard, but I have to remind myself that my role at home is important and valuable.

...

Poor baby number three is the typical cliche. When Noah was a baby, I wrote monthly blog posts about his development and day to day life, Wesley is lucky if I've written one! I may not have the time to devote individual attention to him, but I know that he is just as happy and well developed as Noah was at this age.
While he doesn't get the monthly posts, I know that he is happy and surrounded by so much love everyday. Wesley's days are full of adventure and discovery. At 10 months, Wesley decided that it would be a good time to start walking. I suppose when you have older siblings and a dog to keep up with, it's only natural that you would want to move as fast as you can!
Some other things that Wesley loves are: music, clapping his hands, saying Dada (and sometimes Mama if he is really upset), going to storytime at the library, looking at the model trains at the library, and his dog Ryder. Some of his favourite foods include scrambled eggs, yoghurt, apple sauce, blueberries, spaghetti and chicken.
Our baby turns one next month, and I have all kinds of emotions regarding this milestone. In one way, I am excited to see how Wesley will continue to grow and change over time. On the other hand, I have a hard time in knowing that he is our last baby, and this is the last time I will be a mama to a baby. Regardless of the emotions, we will celebrate his day to the fullest and it will be a special day, all about him.

...

And so here we are, mid November and in the thick of our busy season. With two important birthdays on the horizon and Christmas just around the corner, I am really trying to take stock of what this season means to me, and also try to plan and organize where and when I can.
My mind is full... and it's almost overwhelming. I feel as though I really need to remind myself of what is most important right now, and let go of the other stuff.

...

And finally, a few photos of the children. I really wanted some Fall photos of the kids, and because of being sick, I kept pushing them back. Finally one day, I corralled them all together and just made it happen. They aren't my favourite photos, that's for sure. They feel forced and not natural (my main goal in photography these days is to make a natural portrait), but at the same time, I am happy to have a bit more of a "formal" portrait of the kids. If anything, these photos make me pause and say, when did they get so big?

celebrating our boy

We are almost at the 7 month mark of sweet Wesley's first year. There have been so many joys, so much to take note of, but the days seem to go by so quickly. 

Right now as I write this, he sleeps peacefully in the ergo carrier (that I used for Noah and Katia). It is a hot summer night, but this is how he wants to be. So close. 

At nearly 7 months old, Wesley is doing so much! He sits up and crawls. He babbles away. He's eating new foods, he's interested in toys and books, he adores his brother (Kuya) and sister (Ate), and he loves his puppy Ryder (although I keep a close eye on their interactions). 

While in Ottawa, we had a special celebration for Wesley. He was baptized at the Catholic church, by Winslow's family's priest. It was a really special day, where family and friends, came to officially welcome our boy to the world. Many of our friends and family, had not met Wesley yet. So it was very much like a welcoming party for him

When planning the special day, we asked our dear friend Sarah, if she would be Wesley's Godmother. It's hard for me to put into words, just how much my relationship with Sarah means to me. It's not something that I can easily sum up with words. It is deep and beautiful and precious. 

Asking Sarah to be Wesley's Godmother was important to me. I know that she cares for him and I feel a strong connection to her on so many levels. Spiritually, creatively, morally. Sarah is the kind of friend that I look up to. I admire her and she inspires me, to be a better person and mother. We are so blessed to have this amazing person in our lives, ans she fits the bill perfectly to be an  awesome Godmother

And so here we are. A whole half a year old. While I am loving each stage with this sweet and busy boy, I just wish for a moment that I could slow time down. It's going so fast, and I am catching little glimpses of who this little person is going to be as he grows up. I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's bittersweet, this whole baby thing. I love to watch him grow, but I will miss it so much when it's all over. Oh my baby boy. 

. 

growing up

We've had some pretty monumental moments in our household over the past few weeks. The kind of moments that make you pause, take note, and file them away as important memories. 

Each of the children are moving along in their development, and growing in different ways. 

...

Wesley is 5 months old now, and it's a little hard on this Mama-heart of mine. 5 months, is one month away from being 6 months... which is half a year! Please, someone, slow down time for me.

Since Wesley is our last, I want to savour each moment and etch it into my memory. It can be bittersweet to watch him grow. Of course I am beyond thankful that he is moving along in his developmental milestones.... it's just sad to know that this will be the last time I have a baby of my own at this age. 

Wesley is now: 

~ rolling from his back to tummy

~ babbling A LOT

~ sleeping very well at night, right close to his mommy 

~ likes a routine (morning, play, getting dressed, nap, play, nap, dinner, jammies, bed)

~ still is a very good nurser 

~ tasting different foods: avocado, homemade bread, broccoli, chicken. I am pretty sure that we will primarily do baby-led weaning with him, and maybe make up a few pureed versions of what we are eating. 

~ loves to bed carried in his Beco (outwards) when he is awake and happy, and his Ergo (inwards) when he is tired and needs cuddles

...

In Katia's world, a few big things happened this week. She got her school aged vaccines and she got her first very own bike. Two big things for a little girl who is growing up quickly. 

To prepare her for her vaccines, on the advice of another mama, we spent the night before her appointment, playing doctor and practicing what would happen at her appointment. 

We used her favourite stuffed fox, and went through all the steps of a doctor's visit. Getting weighed and measured, listening to her heart, checking her eyes, and getting her needles. We also used Emla cream on her fox, to help freeze the area where the needles would go in. 

The day of her appointment, we used the Emla cream on Katia and on her fox, and got all ready to go to the doctor. Katia was very calm about it and didn't seem anxious at all. 

Once we were there, we waited for a while and then the nurse came along to do her needles. 

First "Foxy" got her needles and band aides, and then it was Katia's turn. Not a peep or a tear from that girl! We were so impressed! 

I really do think that practicing the night before, helped her to feel in control of the situation, because she knew what to expect and nothing was going to be a surprise. 

After her appointment we went off to get a mint chocolate chip ice cream and her very own new bike (it just so happens that this year was Katia's year to get a new bike ... perfect timing!).

...

And my dear boy Noah. Oh this boy sure is growing and changing each day. He has had some growth spurts, but for me, the biggest changes are what is going on in Noah's personal life and his thoughts. 

Something really cool that has begun to happen (that I have been waiting for and hoping for) is that Noah now has friends in our little subdivision who come calling on him to play. 

They sometimes ride bikes,sometimes play lego and often spy on the littler sisters. I love it. I love seeing him open himself up to new situations. To experience a bit more freedom, as he cruises on his bike to his friend's house. To witness this new stage of his life, where he is venturing out a bit more and making new relationships. 

And on a different note, last night, Noah and I had a little heart to heart, when he came to me upset. He confessed that he was worried about what will happen when/if one of us dies (a normal thing for a little person to think about). 

I remember having these same worries when I was a little one, and I remember making a pact with my mother, that we would meet at the gates of heaven one day. I remember. this plan we discussed, brought me so much peace of mind, so when I suggested the same thing to Noah, it was so sweet to witness his worries dissolve, and a peace come over him. He went to bed happy. 

And while I truly do not know where we all go once we die, I do know that my love for my children will go on and on forever and ever. That some how, our spirits will always be intertwined for eternity. That I know. 

xox

lived to tell the tale

This is the story of how we survived our first 1 parent/3 kid weekend, and lived to tell the tale.
It started out on a Friday and ended on a Sunday evening. 36 hours of being outnumbered to my children, and we made it through, with very little tears.
There were some cuss words, I'll admit. There was puke (thanks Wesley). There was 1 trip to emergency (again, Wesley being sick, but he is fine now). There were some mini adventures, in part because of 2 Beavers activities that happened. There was also, lots of down time, where we just hung out and made it through the day.
And while I am pretty impressed with myself for getting the 3 kids and myself, to and from the Beaver's events, I think I am even more proud of Noah and Katia for stepping up to the challenge of being a big brother and sister. These 2 amazing kids, played so well together all weekend (allowing me to take care of their sick baby brother), and also helped me out so much without complaining.
The games they played together were so creative. My favourite one, was watching them set up a museum and make opening hours for it. I was invited to the museum I should add, and it all all kinds of interesting rocks and gems on display (from our nature collection), along with some interesting science books to read. They also made forts, did drawings together, read together, ran hand in hand the whole way on our walk. Oh my!
So what started out as a weekend that I thought would be completely overwhelming, turned out to be a rather slow and reconnecting time for us all. In all honesty, I was scared of how the weekend would go. Would they want to be watching TV all weekend? Would they be fighting and at each other's throats? Would I have to come up with fun activities for them? Thankfully, they really showed me that they are becoming very independent and helpful kids, and that they actually enjoy each other's company.
The final icing on the cake was when Katia crawled into bed with Noah last night and fell fast asleep with him. Usually, Katia wakes up in the middle of the night for some water or just to call out for us. Last night she didn't. She just slept the night away with her brother.

taking stock

veggies, goats cheese and olives wrapped in phyllo 

We are slowly coming out of our sickness haze, and beginning to see the light. 

Yesterday, we had unseasonably warm and sunny weather, and so it was a picnic lunch outside on our back deck and a walk at Miner's Marsh. 

Recently Winslow went back to work, which means we are slowly finding a new kind of normal. 

Right now, I know that I am needed as the constant in our family, and it is good to feel that sense of belonging. As we find our way back to a routine and find a new need for organization, I know that I must be present and available. It may not be a glamourous job, but I'm reminding myself that it is important. 

In family news, our sweet Wesley Birch is now two months old. It's a beautiful time, that I am holding onto dearly. In one moment, I feel that he is still so small and fragile, and at the next moment, I marvel at his new developments and milestones. 

Yesterday our sweet boy had his vaccines, and while he did great during them, he was in so much discomfort at night. His poor cries, full of tears. We took turns holding him, kissing him and reassuring his feelings. There is something very comforting when someone tells you it's okay to be sad. Our poor babe. Thankfully today he is in much better spirits. 

And finally, in an attempt to make sure that I am in good spirits, I have been taking measures to practice self care as much as I can. Beautiful Hawaiian folk music, to calm my nerves. Homemade food that I enjoy (from this lovely book), not caring if the kids care for it. Walks in the sun. Chai tea in the afternoon. It's the little things, and boy are they beautiful when I take stock of them all. 

xox 

samosas