nurture

The holidays are nearing the end, and after a rich month, full of parties and celebrations, I am ready to clear out the clutter, simplify after all the excess, and find focus once again. 

I love the holidays, especially Christmas, but I'd be lying if I didn't mention how exhausting the month of December can be to a mama of three- oh and add in a birthday and a trip to Ottawa for good measure! 
December is lovely, but I often feel like I am running a marathon, all on my own, to make it magical and special for everyone. It's exhausting. A good and fulfilling kind of exhausting, but exhausting none the less. 
So here we are, just on the other side of Christmas. As I write this, I am in bed, in a Best Western hotel in Edmunston NB. We are on our way back to NS, after a trip home to Ottawa. We saw our loved ones, ate so many treats, the kids were spoiled with gifts, and we had the opportunity to visit with friends. It was busy and whirlwind, and now we feel ready to return to life and routine. 
This time of year always has me feel renewed and ready to prioritize. I feel a sense of focus and a desire to turn my energy towards intentions. I seek clarity, focus and to lessen the distractions. 
Each year at this time of year, I start to look inwards for a motivational word that will help guide me forward into the New Year. In previous years, I chose words such as: Peace, Adventure, and Quiet. Last year I chose the word Focus and upon looking back at 2019, I can see that the word Focus and 2019 really went hand in hand. Last year was a great year for me in terms of growth in my photography. I led a workshop called, Heart+Hand Creative Workshop and also was a guest speaker at the Sackville Photography Club. I love how the word that I chose really helped to guide me towards some goals that I am very proud of. 
And so here we are, on the cusp of a new year and decade, and I am feeling the pull more and more to live a true and authentic life. As I get older, I feel the need less to participate in all the bull shit that society tells me that I need to do. I've learned a lot over the last few years.  Saying no is good for me,  I don't have to colour my hair, that I don't owe apologies and explanations to people for the decisions I make for myself, that the shape of my body is beautiful and doesn't need to be hidden. I have learned to be proud of my talents. That I am unique and can bring a lot to the table. That my happiness, creativity, sense of self all depend on how I take care of myself. This year I will be focusing on nurturing my self. This year's word will be Nurture.
I'm ready to put the focus on nurturing all aspects of myself. My creative self, my mental and physical health. Some of the ways I plan on nurturing myself are to, carve out chunks of time - just for creating. Practicing drawing once again. Make time for walks in nature. Prepare healthy and healing food , and to find time for quiet and reflection. 
If you like participating in this practice, feel free to share your words with me and the meaning behind them. I love hearing about what others choose. 
Happy New Year dear friends! 
xox 

Focus

We're at the end of January, and I am just squeezing this in, before the month is over. 
Every year, for at least the last 4 or 5 years, I come up with one word, that is meant to help guide/influence me in the coming year. Past words have included: Peace, Adventure, Quiet, Journey. 
This year, as I was thinking about it, one word kept coming up in my thoughts, and so my word of 2019 is going to be Focus. 
Last year brought growth and new accomplishments to me. I gained a tremendous amount of confidence in myself, which I feel funneled into my relationships, photography work and family life. 
Last year, I reached some goals and found a sense of focus that had been missing for quite some years, in all honesty, I blame post partum hormones and exhaustion on those foggy years. 
And so for 2019, I want this sense of focus, drive and clarity to continue. 
Focus to me means knowing what I want for myself personally and professionally. It means having a sense of trust in myself. It means not having control over the situation, but having control over myself- knowing that I am responsible for myself, my actions, my reactions. It means calling myself out on my own shit, but also being my own bestfriend. And so 2019 is my year to Focus in on my self and goals. It is to continue on this journey of learning about myself, and to be the best version of myself... for me and the ones I love. 
Happy New Years (on January 30th). 

land and see 2018

How do I adequately put into words, what going to Land and See means to me? It's really hard to explain it all, but I'll try. 
For 3 days (5 for those that took the whole workshop), I was immersed into a world of photography, creativity, deep conversation, and real connection with other artists. It was an experience unlike anything I've done before. Something so far away from my regular every day. It was pretty damn amazing. 
On a practical level, I was able to work and learn along side some of my very favourite photographers. I was able to shoot one on one with a particular photographer, Joni Burtt, who I greatly admire. As well, I was able to collaborate with other photographers, and it was such an enriching experience. 
On an emotional level, it was quite a profound experience. For 3 solid days, I had the time to create, to be able to listen to other photographers, and just to be able to hear myself think. I was able to write notes about my ideas, things I wanted to remember, and not once was I interrupted. 
Going to Land and See is a gift to me, from my family. Winslow had to take time off from work, and we budgeted our limited resources so that I could go. The children, while sad I was going, were at the same time supportive and happy for me. It truly felt like this experience was a gift to me. 
It was a gift of time. A gift of opportunity. A gift to learn, to expand, to create. As I did 3 years ago, when I last attended, I felt such a huge amount of gratitude for this opportunity to go to Land and See. For some, this type of thing (professional development, workshops, education) is a regular/common type of occurrence, but for me, it is not- and I think, this I why I feel such an amount of gratitude for it all. 
It will likely be another 3 years before I attend Land and See again. The truth is, there are other things that I hope to do over the next few years- travel is one of the main ones. But this time that I had recently, is something that I hope to carry with me for a while to come. While I may not attend this specific workshop again, going to Land and See, helped to get me refocused in my goals (specifically towards photography) and I am going forward with new ideas. I'm excited to see what will come next. 
A selection of some of my images from my time at Land and See 2018, on Prince Edward Island. 

made and gifted with love :: handmade christmas 2016

This past Christmas, I found myself challenged with a limited budget for gifts. At first I felt stressed out and worried, that I wouldn't be able to give nice gifts to friends, or to the kids for that matter, but after discussing these challenges with friends, I realized that I just needed to find the inspiration to make my gifts.
In the past, I have always enjoyed making gifts for family and friends, so I decided to take a look through some old pins on my Pinterest boards and get inspired.
These really cute and simple wooden houses came to mind, so I asked Winslow to cut some up for me and I made up some simple villages and Christmas tree ornaments.
My second challenge was that I really wanted to buy this play campfire for the kids, but couldn't justify the price. On top of the exchange rate, I'd have to pay shipping, duties and taxes. So I just couldn't afford it. My friend sent me this pin, so I took a look at it and adapted it to my liking.
In the end, I am very pleased with the play campfire I came up with, and love how it promotes open ended play (camping, storytime, ect). Also, it was made with love, by me. I hope the kids know that it was made especially for them.
A few other simple gifts I made and gave this year (no pictures sorry), were homemade potpourri bags like these (for neighbours) and some peppermint bark (to give to Scouts/Sparks leaders and bus drivers).
Hope this inspires you to make and give some handmade gifts!
xox

quiet

I've been spending some time lately, trying to take stock of where I am in my life. The new year does this. It makes me want to look back, to see where I've been, and to look forward to what might be.
Yesterday, I took a nice long walk through the woods with a sleeping Wesley attached to me, and Ryder who was bounding off down the trail. My goal on that walk was to get some fresh air and sun, but also to come to a decision on what my word for 2017 would be.
For the last two years, I have chosen a word to help guide me through my year. A word that would provide inspiration, a push, some support.
For my first year (2015), I chose the word PEACE. I remember I was having a very hard time while I was living in Beaver Creek. I desperately needed to find inner peace with myself and within my heart. That word was almost like a plea with myself. It was so appropriate.
Last year (2016), I chose the word ADVENTURE .... what an ambitious word for a mama with a newborn and two older busy children! I think that I chose the word adventure, to give me the motivation to get out there and just do it. I was truly scared that with 3 children, I would just end up hiding away all the time, and would chose the easy way out. I think I wanted to challenge myself... and I also just wanted to explore our new province. So yes, perhaps "adventure" was a bit ambitious for me, but I'm happy that it pushed me to take my kids hiking, to the beach, out for ice cream just because, to make bonfires on the beach, and to look at sometimes daunting tasks in a positive light.
This year, after meditating on it, I have come to my word for the year. This word was chosen out of need and reflection of where I am in my current role as a caregiver/mama. My word for 2017 is QUIET.
Right now, I'll be honest, my life feels a bit chaotic and, well, loud. I often find myself asking the kids to lower their voices, turn down the TV, or I find myself seeking refuge in silence. For some reason, I find myself very sensitive to noise. The TV, the radio, the crying, the yelling, the fighting, the pots being clanged by Wes. It's overly loud, all the time.
When I take a moment to turn down the radio, get the kids to find a quiet activity, or I finally get the overly tired/crying baby down for a nap, I can just feel the tension start to dissolve, and it's such a relief.
But not only am I seeking quiet in the literal and obvious way, I am also seeking to find quiet in my mind and heart. While I was out on my walk, I came to the conclusion, that my walks in the woods, truly are my way of meditating, and how I just need that time to allow my mind to be quiet (away from demands, away from technology, away from responsibilities). My mind needs time and space to just be, and my heart needs that too.
My word this year is truly an inward word. One that reflects and acknowledges my present day needs. Last year's word was a push to get out there. It was almost an affirmation, telling me that I could do it. This year, I am looking to take care of my needs, in recognition that I can't help anyone else, if I don't take care of myself too.
xox

word for the new year: adventure

When looking back on 2015 and looking forward to 2016, one key word and feeling sticks out to me, adventure.
We had many adventures in 2015, from camping in our camper in the Yukon and Alaska, to flying over Canada's tallest mountain (Mt. Logan), to moving across the country (driving with the whole family, a dog and camping along the way), to moving into a new home and starting over from scratch. Oh and adding another human to our family. It's true that many of these changes could have induced panic and stress on someone, but I think we did our very best to look at these events as adventures, and that outlook made all the difference.
And then there were some more personal adventures that 2015 brought to me, adventures that  helped me to see that there were more opportunities out there than I knew, adventures that would change me and challenge me.
In February, before our family went to Maui, Sarah and I embarked on an assignment to cover the Yukon Ultra, an extreme winter race that sees participants run, ski and bike over 600 km through the freezing Yukon wilderness. Sarah interviewed and wrote a beautiful story for Explore magazine, and invited me along to capture the images for her story. It was an honour to be asked to collaborate with her, and it was an experience that pushed me outside of my comfort zone. The story came out this December in the winter edition of Explore magazine, and it's pretty exciting to see both Sarah's and my name in the credits of the story.
My second personal adventure of 2015 took me to PEI for the Land and See photography workshops with Dave Brosha (and many other great presenters). I've written about how profound this experience was for me, and how I was challenged, motivated and most importantly inspired to try new things with my photography and creativity. This opportunity was a real gift to me, and truly felt like a journey for me in so many ways.
And so here we are, at the beginning of a new year, with new possibilities and adventures waiting for us. My inspirational word this year is going to be adventure, because whether the adventure is a simple picnic lunch at a park with the kids, or a more organized and complicated trip somewhere, looking at life and the everyday occurrences as an adventure a sure way to live a more positive and happy life.
All of our adventures in 2015 helped me to cultivate more gratitude and to be more in the present. It helped me to make a rough day more positive and to make the most out of everyday, and that is what I would like continue for 2016.
So here is to 2016. A year that I hope will bring more adventures! More camping, more photography, more picnics, more trips to the beach, more road trips, more creativity, more art, more reading, more precious memories with family, more time with friends, and more positive outlooks on life!
Much love and wishes for an amazing year ahead.
xox

pausing

There are those moments in the day that feel like a blur. We rush from one moment to the next, acting out many of our daily routines on auto pilot. Breakfast, pack lunches, find hats and mitts, off we go.
It goes on, day in, day out like this.
Then there are the moments that stop time. A rare slowing down, where we have the time to talk, laugh, just be. These moments, they are the ones worth living for. We just need the ability to search them out, and then,to savour them.
Today Katia and I sat by the Christmas tree, enjoying the moments just before dinner was ready. I asked her to stay still and grabbed my camera. The light was beautiful and I knew this would be a lovely black and white.
There are the other moments too. A quick text from my husband. You are a Super Mom he says. He doesn't know it, but those words made my day. Acknowledgment. Support. Generous. I am beyond thankful for him and those words. They helped me to carry on with my day.
It's so easy to move through the day, one foot in front of the other, just getting through it. And you know, somedays are just like that. Some days are hard and all we can do is keep breathing.
But when I am in a position to stop and savour, when I am able to find that grace, I do it, because I know that it is a gift. It is what this whole living thing is about.
xox

I needed to open my eyes

There is something that right now, I am feeling so deeply and passionately about. It feel it in my heart, bones and soul, and know that this is part of my true authentic self. I want to share my story of where I have been going in my artistic and creative journey and how I am finally beginning to feel excited and positive about it, after a period of being down.
Growing up, I wasn't very excited or engaged with school. It wasn't a place where I felt that I could explore or express myself, except for when it came to art. Those classes were what kept me going to school. They were the classes, where not only did I excel, but where I could truly communicate my thoughts and feelings.
Through pencils, paint brushes, charcoal, scissors, paper (you name it!) I could actually have my voice heard and it was such a relief for someone who felt like such a failure at the traditional subjects in school to have those tools at her hands.
Fast forward through the years. I went to NSCAD and Concordia for Fine Arts, and had the absolute privilege of making, studying, breathing and living art for nearly 4 years. It was beautiful.
I then went on to what I thought would be a good next step for me, teacher's college, where I would become a highschool Visual Arts teacher, and hopefully provide other kids who were in the position that I was once in.
But sometimes the creator or the universe (or what ever you choose to call it), has other plans for you. Not thrilled with the course that my teaching career was taking, we decided that as a family, we would follow Winslow's career for a while and see where it would take us.
Am I ever happy that we made that decision. Moving up North was probably the very best decision that we ever made as a family, and if you've followed my blog for the last 5 years, you will know the spell that the Yukon had and still has over me. It is a magical place.
During our time in the North, I was incredibly blessed to begin on my path of photography, and started up my business Birds on a Wire Photography. It was amazing to me, that I could call what I was doing work, it hardly ever felt like work! It was me just doing what I loved to do (and getting paid to do it). It was amazing.
Then came along Beaver Creek, with it's lovely 5 hrs distance from all of my clientele that I had worked so hard to build. It was a difficult time for me professionally, and now, I am beginning to see, artistically as well. I was so far removed from the people I worked with, and so far from being in touch of what was happening in the world of portraiture photography.
On top of feeling left behind in the business aspect of things, I also began to feel uninspired in my everyday creativity. Maybe it was my surroundings, or personal circumstances, but I slowly lost touch with the joy of photography, perhaps the worst thing of all.
I began to doubt myself, my abilities, and my own voice. It was a sad time for me in my photography journey and I was feeling really weighed down about it.
Things started to turn around last winter, when my dear friend Sarah proposed a joint project, where she would be writing a story for Explorer magazine and I would take the accompanying photos for the article. It was something completely outside or my normal genre, and I was scared, excited, thrilled and nervous to take on the project. We went on our journey (in the frigid Yukon winter) and made it out alive (with a story and the photos for it). It was an accomplishment and a time to be with one of my very best friends in the world. I felt a spark, and it felt good.
That story/assignment, I think was a turning point for me. Was it Sarah, was she my guardian creative angel who brought me out of my funk? Was it the challenge? The feelings of fear and excitement all wrapped up in one gift? I think it was all of that. It was the challenge that I needed. I needed that opportunity to show myself that there is so much more out there. I needed to open my eyes, much wider than they had been.
Soon after that, or maybe just before(?), the opportunity of Land and See presented itself to me and I signed up for it as fast as I could. If there ever were a doubt in my mind, this was not one of them. I knew, right down to my bones, that I needed these workshops, for more reasons than just the obvious ones.
Something at Land and See, woke me up. There were moments of happiness, gratitude, openness and vulnerability. Being around like minded people was inspiring. It was such an inclusive and supportive place, and I drank up every second of it that I could. I was thirsty let me tell you.
And so here I am now. A renewed sense of wonder and willingness to be open. I am falling in love once again with my craft, and it feels so amazing.
One thing that I noticed I had stopped doing so much were portraits of my own children, of my husband even. I want to take photos of them and of the most simple, beautiful, meaningful moments I can. I also want to take photographs, just simply for the love of it. For the pure joy that it brings me. More happiness and joy, I say!
I'm not sure what direction I am going to take my business at the moment. I know that I love portraiture, and I will continue to shoot families primarily. But something that I have been very drawn to, is incorporating strong and evoking landscapes into my portraits. Being outdoors is so important to me, and I find when I get children outside, their guards and barriers come down, allowing for a more natural image. This is something I want to focus more on, that and telling the story of relationships and love.
Lots to ponder. Thanks for being my sounding board as always.
xox

widdershins

Last weekend, I had the lovely opportunity to escape to Whitehorse (on my own) and partake in a very unique and intimate art show. It was so good for my soul.
A few months ago, Leanne, dreamed up the idea of doing a Springtime arts show in her home, where  a number of artists would set up their creations for display and sale. We had done something similar back in 2010, and 5 years later, we did it again.
She named the show Widdershins, which means:  to go counter-clockwise, to go anti-clockwise, or to go lefthandwise, or to walk around an object by always keeping it on the left. i.e. literally, it means to take a course opposite the apparent motion of the sun viewed from the Arctic Circle. Leanne asked all of the artists to challenge themselves and try something out of their normal comfort zone, an action that was fitting with the name of the show. 
For me, it had been such a long time since I had made much of anything, let alone paint, so much of what I made was new to me. Some of my work included painted signs, that I did on reclaimed wood. I had been inspired by many signs that I saw in Hawaiian gift shops (signs that were mass produced). I liked those signs, but wanted to make my own that were one of a kind and with favourite quotes. I also made picture/card holders out of birch wood and wire. These were fun to make and look so pretty with a post card or photo displayed in it.
A few of the other items that I made were recycled paper postcards, with my images and words put together. These images and words are meant to serve as mantras or simple meditations. Something to display and look at, that hopefully brings a bit of peace and pause to one's day. All in all, I am so happy that I was asked to participate in this wonderful show. It helped me to become motivated to make once again, and to spend my time doing something that is productive and meaningful to me.
I do have some left overs from this show and can also do custom orders for anyone interested.
xox 

the sea and my tattoo

I always thought I'd keep my skin clean and never get a tattoo, but something changed my mind when Winslow decided that he would get inked when we were in Maui. Something got me excited and made me want to go for it, and I did. 

For as long as I can remember, my dream tattoo (if I were to ever get one), was to be a whale. Whales, specifically Humpback Whales, are my totem animal (they reoccur in my dreams), and I am drawn to them for so many reasons. But I wasn't sure if I wanted to jump into such a large and detailed tattoo for my first one, so I went to the drawing board and came up with other ideas. 

I wanted something pretty, feminine, and something that had meaning to me. My love for the ocean kept coming to mind and finally, I settled on a seashell design for my first tattoo. 

So for me, the meaning of the seashell is happiness. The ocean is my happy place, it is where I feel calm, at peace and grounded. The shell represents that place in my heart and mind, and I'm quite happy with it.

They say tattoos are addictive... and it's true! I'm not looking to be completely inked, but I have to say, I do have more ideas springing up in my mind. I'm sure that whale will make it onto my skin someday.

xox

handmade holidays 2014

A few pictures of this year's handmade gifts.

In past years, I would often make one type of gift and give it to many people, but this year, I was drawn back to my painting and did a few individual and unique paintings for just a small selection of family and friends. I painted a few mini canvases (of course, birds!) and made them into magnets.
I also felt drawn towards quotes and inspirational sayings/mantras. I painted a vintage looking sign that said, "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound" for my sister Katie, but did not get a photo of it.
For my sister Sarah, I decided to paint a chalkboard looking "In our home" style painting. They are very outdoorsy and adventurous, so I tried to come up with some mantras that would fit their family lifestyle.The "You are my Sunshine" painting is gonna be kept for me. A gift from me to me.
For the kids, they got in on painting picture frames (that I picked up at a garage sale in the summer). We then put their school pictures in them and made them into magnets. These were sent  off to the Grandparents.
We also made many ornaments this year, some with Crayola airdry clay (Santa handprints) and some with fabric (drawings on fabric with fabric markers). I really like how the fabric ones turned out (I stuffed and sewed them up).
A few other treats were made up and given. We made cranberry orange loaves,, as well as spicy and sweet pecans- so easy and so tasty.
And that's it for my handmade edition of this year. I have to say, I am very inspired at this moment to keep on making and giving handmade gifts. One of my goals this year is to remain creative and to make creativity a weekly practice for me.

Merry Christmas friends.

xox