breathe in, breathe out, repeat

Looking back on my last post, I am a little bit heart broken over how I let my emotions consume Christmas day. I am thankful for the time that has since passed between December 25th and now. I am thankful for the space, for the quiet, for the calm that comes after the storm. 

Since Christmas, I have been taking walks, talking a lot to good friends and my sister (so so so thankful for listening ears),  been to the emergency room (once again with Wes), been feeling supported by Winslow, been looking forward to good things to come for 2017. 

2016 wasn't easy in many ways for us. Financially we had a rough year. Support wise, we had to learn to juggle 3 kids with no help. Emotionally, we have had to start from scratch in making friends, it's been slow, but I am thankful to have a small handful of people who I count as friends. There have been many lessons that 2016 has taught me, and I suppose, seeing that we are on the other side now, I am in a place where I can accept those lessons. 

There are still a few days left of 2016, and I am doing my best to salvage what is left of the holidays and enjoy our time together as a family. 

xox 

december moments

December is here and I am making sure that I find moments to slow down and enjoy this most beautiful season. 

I have been looking inwards, to try and make some sense of what this season means to me. 

Spiritually, I cannot deny that there is a feeling of anticipation, wonder, renewal and a need for quiet, all in my heart and mind. 

So I make conscious decisions to put down my phone, turn off the noise, and just be. 

At night, I allow myself to feel the darkness, and listen to the little breaths from my babies who sleep next to me. I try to let go of worries. I try to accept and embrace what is. 

In the day, I bundle everyone up, and we head for an adventure in the woods. As we walk further and further, we move away from the development and deeper into the woods. The promise of a hot chocolate picnic keeps the older two in tow. 

At home, I have designated our spare room to my crafting, card writing, and present wrapping. My sewing machine has been a whirring lately. It feels good to know that many of the gifts we are giving this year, are homemade and from the heart. 

In the kitchen we have been enjoying hearty meals by candlelight. Knowing that it is important to come together, to sit, to share, to pause. 

This season, I am letting Christmas be, what it will be. I'm letting go of high expectations and am taking stock of what we have in front of it, and it is more than enough. 

May this season be what you need it to be. 

xox 

connecting

Welcome December! The most magical, beautiful, cozy and kind month there is! December is here, and I am welcoming it with open arms.
I have so many lovely ideas swirling through my head. Gifts to make. Cards to write. Menus to plan. Memories to make with my family.... and I'm really wanting to make this season a meaningful and present one. This year I am focusing on making many of my gifts. A step towards the way I have always felt Christmas giving should be. I'm inspired and can't wait to show my creations!
A few weeks ago, I was in a slump. I'm not exactly sure what brought it on, but I just couldn't feel in the mood for the season. I had conflicting feelings about it all, and truthfully, I felt disconnected from the usual joy I feel around this time of year.
Thankfully, after talking about it with my good friend, I started to find my groove again. I think it was important for me to stop and pause, and take stock of what this season means to me personally, and then to my family.
What I want and what my family (children I should say) are sometimes two different things.
I certainly enjoy the magic, excitement and energy that my children get from the season,  but I also want moments of calm too.
I want to find moments of peace. I want to find moments of reflection. Moments of quiet. Moments of stillness. I think it is important that I find these moments for myself to enjoy during this season too.
Things like: walks in the woods, enjoying a hot and decadent drink, lighting candles, writing cards to friends, crafting and making, preparing warming foods that nourish us. I am reminding myself that what I love best about December and Christmas is slowing it down, and enjoying time with my family, and that is what I am reminding myself to focus on.

...

Life in November brought us Remembrance Day, a birthday (and a party) for Katia, a visit from Nana, busy days of having afterschool kids in the house, our first snow,  a turkey dinner with Nana, some photo sessions, the beginning of Christmas crafting.

I shall leave off with some pictures from the last few weeks.

xox

May we all find moments to take in deep crisp air breaths, and find the quiet that we need.

centered again

The news had been getting me down. 

Everytime I signed onto Facebook, there were new stories, opinion pieces, blog posts, memes, ect that were bringing me down in my mood and outlook. I knew that I should just tune out, unplug and try to connect with my immediate surroundings... but I couldn't. I was agitated, irritated, and felt sucked in. 

How do I unplug I asked my dear friend Sarah one day. How do I consciously turn away from all this negativity? I am a tender hearted soul, who feels all the feels. It's so hard. 

I started by picking up my camera. It had been raining for days straight, which made it hard for me with the kids, but was such a blessing to the garden. Our beautiful poppies had bursts open, so on the first sunny day, I went out to photograph, their striking blooms. 

The next step, was booking a spontaneous camping trip for Father's Day weekend. 

Rissers PP, a beautiful spot just under 1.5 hours from us, books up fast for the whole summer, but because school is still in, this past weekend had a few open spots. The weather was promising, so we went for it, and booked 2 nights there. 

Almost 3 days on the South Shore (opens out into the Atlantic) at the beach and campground. We brought the camper, the kids bikes, tons of art supplies, organized a yummy menu of delicious food and ventured off. The only rule? No ipads, no Facebook, no movies, no emails. 

On our first night we made friends with an RCMP family a few spots down, and were told that another RCMP family we knew from the Yukon would be coming down too. The kids had a blast playing with their kids, tearing around on their bikes, going to the playground and playing on the beach. 

3 days of family connecting, of being by the ocean, of not rushing anywhere, of eating icecream and chips (oh yes we did!) and a special Sunday of treating Winslow extra special for Father's Day. 

We all came home exhausted, sun tanned and with a sense of ease. It was exactly what I needed to re-boot. 

Now, with myself centered again, I am vowing to make some small changes for myself. 

I am going to make a conscious effort to take breaks from social media this summer, and to work on making better connection with myself and my family. 

I'm going to make more spontaneous trips to the beach, and to get icecream. Pick my camera up when I am feeling down, and search for the beauty that is right under my nose. I'm going to practice more self care and work on practicing my New Year's word, which was, adventure. 

xox