today

Today I took note of the birds calling. I listened to their songs. It was so clear.
Today I enjoyed my back yard. I gave thanks for this beautiful piece of land that is ours. This special spot that is an extension of our home.
Today I allowed Wesley to feed Ryder. It was a mess, but it was so sweet to watch him work through his self directed task.
Today I poured myself into cooking for a friend who needs love and nourishment. It is the only thing I could think to do.
Today I allowed myself to share in Wesley's joy, as he climbed the play structure over and over again, and went down the slide. So proud of himself. So determined to do it himself.
Today I cuddled my dog. His hot stinky breath on my skin. I still love him.
Today we sat down to eat together, and it was nice. We had an abundance of food at our table. We are blessed.
This evening we went for an after dinner walk around the block. It felt good to move.
This evening I watched the moon from my bedroom window.
Good night.
I give thanks for every moment I was gifted today.

catching up

Somewhere between the cold temperatures, the busyness of 3 kids, homework, meal preps, life  and commitments, I have let certain important practices, that I know to help me in my happiness slip.
Instead of prioritizing my walks, time in nature, sleep and  journaling, I have let other parts of my life take over and I am feeling sluggish for it. But instead of beating myself up for indulging in far too many sweets, and not getting to bed at a good time, I am simply going to give myself permission to reset. Yes. More rest. More walks. Better food. More nature.
I realize that life is one big ebb and flow. I'm also realizing that when I let go of these things that I know to help me feel better, that anxiety and pressure start to build up. So, back to the basics for me. Back to prioritizing self care. That's what this is really about.

... catching up on life ...

We've had my dad here now for about 3 weeks now, and it is very nice to have him here. The first few weeks took adjusting to for all of us, but we seem to be falling into a nice rhythm and it's very nice to have the extra set of hands here (especially when Winslow is at work).
But on top of an extra set of hands, it is most nice to see my children form a relationship with him and to build memories. It's the most simple of things, but when I see us all sit down to a meal, or watch them play a board game, I feel so blessed that we all have this time together. Over the past 10 years or so, if there is one thing that I have learned, it is that life cannot be taken for granted. We just don't know what lies ahead for any of us, and so it really is this moment, right now that counts.

...

In an attempt to socialize more and to feed into my need for creativity, I hosted a women's craft night last week and it was a nice little gathering. I chose a very simple and open ended craft, something I hoped that everyone would feel comfortable making, and asked people to bring a snack to share.
We all ended up having a nice evening of good food, drinks, conversation and creativity.
...

March Break came and went, with a mix of rest and fun for all of us. A bug ran it's course through the family, and each day, I found the kids and Winslow to be down right tired. Naps were had by all, but we also managed a little excursion, to Halifax. We stayed at a hotel with a pool, went out to eat, went to a library program and did some shopping.
On our last day of March Break, I decided that I would finally give in to the pleas I've heard over the last two years, and we threw a birthday party for Ryder and his dog friend Carly. Simple decorations from our box of left over balloons and streamers, a gift for each dog (tennis balls), cupcakes for the dogs(healthy recipe found online), and cake for us from the grocery store, because... cake. Any excuse for cake is a good excuse by me!

...

Just yesterday, after what felt like a week or two of missing our outdoor time (sickness, cold temps), we headed out to Baxter's Harbour, a short 30 min drive from our house. Baxter's Harbour is a small village, that sits on the Bay of Fundy and is right between Hall's Harbour and Scott's Bay. It has a lovely waterfall that you can walk under at low tide, all kinds of rocks to climb, and tons a beautiful stones and sea glass to pick through. This will be a place we return to. I can see us having a lovely picnic there in the Summer or Spring.

...

And finally, we have a reader! Grandpa bought us a copy of Harry Potter, so that we could read it all together, but Noah has taken it upon himself to read ahead sometimes. I let him, because I think it's great that he wants to give it a go, but I am still going to read it aloud, because I don't want him to miss parts, and because reading together is a special thing.

Life is busy and I don't always find the time or inspiration to write on my blog. It takes time and effort to pull out my camera, take the photos, upload them and write a blog post. But every time I come back to my blog, I am thankful that I have taken the time to do this. To document our days. To stop and think about the special moments. At the risk of sounding all philosophical, I feel in my heart that our day to day life is truly a gift to be cherished. To be experienced. The good, the bad, the hard stuff and easy stuff. Thanks for always coming along with me.
xox

breathe in, breathe out, repeat

Looking back on my last post, I am a little bit heart broken over how I let my emotions consume Christmas day. I am thankful for the time that has since passed between December 25th and now. I am thankful for the space, for the quiet, for the calm that comes after the storm. 

Since Christmas, I have been taking walks, talking a lot to good friends and my sister (so so so thankful for listening ears),  been to the emergency room (once again with Wes), been feeling supported by Winslow, been looking forward to good things to come for 2017. 

2016 wasn't easy in many ways for us. Financially we had a rough year. Support wise, we had to learn to juggle 3 kids with no help. Emotionally, we have had to start from scratch in making friends, it's been slow, but I am thankful to have a small handful of people who I count as friends. There have been many lessons that 2016 has taught me, and I suppose, seeing that we are on the other side now, I am in a place where I can accept those lessons. 

There are still a few days left of 2016, and I am doing my best to salvage what is left of the holidays and enjoy our time together as a family. 

xox 

word for the new year: adventure

When looking back on 2015 and looking forward to 2016, one key word and feeling sticks out to me, adventure.
We had many adventures in 2015, from camping in our camper in the Yukon and Alaska, to flying over Canada's tallest mountain (Mt. Logan), to moving across the country (driving with the whole family, a dog and camping along the way), to moving into a new home and starting over from scratch. Oh and adding another human to our family. It's true that many of these changes could have induced panic and stress on someone, but I think we did our very best to look at these events as adventures, and that outlook made all the difference.
And then there were some more personal adventures that 2015 brought to me, adventures that  helped me to see that there were more opportunities out there than I knew, adventures that would change me and challenge me.
In February, before our family went to Maui, Sarah and I embarked on an assignment to cover the Yukon Ultra, an extreme winter race that sees participants run, ski and bike over 600 km through the freezing Yukon wilderness. Sarah interviewed and wrote a beautiful story for Explore magazine, and invited me along to capture the images for her story. It was an honour to be asked to collaborate with her, and it was an experience that pushed me outside of my comfort zone. The story came out this December in the winter edition of Explore magazine, and it's pretty exciting to see both Sarah's and my name in the credits of the story.
My second personal adventure of 2015 took me to PEI for the Land and See photography workshops with Dave Brosha (and many other great presenters). I've written about how profound this experience was for me, and how I was challenged, motivated and most importantly inspired to try new things with my photography and creativity. This opportunity was a real gift to me, and truly felt like a journey for me in so many ways.
And so here we are, at the beginning of a new year, with new possibilities and adventures waiting for us. My inspirational word this year is going to be adventure, because whether the adventure is a simple picnic lunch at a park with the kids, or a more organized and complicated trip somewhere, looking at life and the everyday occurrences as an adventure a sure way to live a more positive and happy life.
All of our adventures in 2015 helped me to cultivate more gratitude and to be more in the present. It helped me to make a rough day more positive and to make the most out of everyday, and that is what I would like continue for 2016.
So here is to 2016. A year that I hope will bring more adventures! More camping, more photography, more picnics, more trips to the beach, more road trips, more creativity, more art, more reading, more precious memories with family, more time with friends, and more positive outlooks on life!
Much love and wishes for an amazing year ahead.
xox

pausing

There are those moments in the day that feel like a blur. We rush from one moment to the next, acting out many of our daily routines on auto pilot. Breakfast, pack lunches, find hats and mitts, off we go.
It goes on, day in, day out like this.
Then there are the moments that stop time. A rare slowing down, where we have the time to talk, laugh, just be. These moments, they are the ones worth living for. We just need the ability to search them out, and then,to savour them.
Today Katia and I sat by the Christmas tree, enjoying the moments just before dinner was ready. I asked her to stay still and grabbed my camera. The light was beautiful and I knew this would be a lovely black and white.
There are the other moments too. A quick text from my husband. You are a Super Mom he says. He doesn't know it, but those words made my day. Acknowledgment. Support. Generous. I am beyond thankful for him and those words. They helped me to carry on with my day.
It's so easy to move through the day, one foot in front of the other, just getting through it. And you know, somedays are just like that. Some days are hard and all we can do is keep breathing.
But when I am in a position to stop and savour, when I am able to find that grace, I do it, because I know that it is a gift. It is what this whole living thing is about.
xox

moving on

Hello there. Yes, it's been a few weeks since I've popped in.
Maybe it's my state of mind, maybe it's all the changes that are about to happen, but lately I've been feeling like I am living outside of my own life. We are here, still living in Beaver Creek, but my mind and heart are in another space. Floating, drifting, waiting.
A while ago, I mentioned that we knew where we were being posted to, and now I can say with all certainty, we are moving to the Wolfvillle, Nova Scotia area. Famous for their Apple Festivals, views of the Bay of Fundy, Acadia University, wine vineyards, rolling hills and farmer's markets. Yes, I do believe we will love this new home of ours, we just need to get there and settle first.
In the next two months, our lives will be a whirlwind. A visit from Winslow's family (here in the Yukon), a house hunting trip to our new stomping grounds, a house that we are in the midst of selling, a cross country drive (with 2 kids, a dog and a trailer). I'm exhausted just thinking of it. I know this is going to be good, but how we will do it all, well that is what I am asking myself.
I keep reminding myself that this is right for us and that we are very fortunate to be moving to this part of the country. It is that hope and anticipation that keeps us going.
More recently, while on a trip into Whitehorse for a few reasons (photography work, landlord stuff, groceries), I ended up in emerg at the hospital for a health scare. After 3 hours of blood work and examinations, I was cleared to go home, and felt much relief.
But still, I couldn't help but feel so tired and bitter about our current living situation.
I was tired of having to do things, like face health scares without my other half being there with me. I was frustrated that after feeling so sick and so crappy, that I still had to do a massive grocery shop, carry it out to the truck, load it up and drive home for 5 hrs. I was yet again, resentful that we are one of the very few communities in the Yukon that don't have a grocery store, meaning that no, I couldn't pick up a few things at the local shop.   *I know our time is almost done, and I know there is much worse suffering out there. I just needed to get these things out in the open. 
Thankfully, upon returning home, I was welcomed by my two beautiful babies, my overly ecstatic dog and my super supportive and patient husband. I know I have it good, this I know and will never take for granted. I just need to remind myself that our prize is almost ours, that we almost there.
And so, there you have it. Our life at the moment. Slightly overwhelming, very exciting and yes... tiring too.
xox

ps. Photos taken at Swan Haven, on Marsh Lake about 40 km from Whitehorse. We went to see the swans and to have a tour at the interpretive center.

beautiful grizzly, too bad there's garbage behind him :( 

the bitter and the sweet

lucky me on Mother's Day 

the community greenhouse

"mama, can I have a piggyback?"

It's been a while since I've popped in to say hello. Life has been busy, and I find it hard to carve out the quiet time for blogging. I miss it though. The documenting of our days. The pictures to look back on. I wouldn't want to miss it all  ... and so I am here. To say hello and to update.
Life has been bitter and sweet lately. The news that my mother had a stroke has left me feeling vulnerable and far away from home. I've felt distracted and distant, and wanting to be there with her. She will be ok, but there will be a road to recovery. I have a hard time accepting that I cannot be there, but it's just what's best at this very moment.
And then there is life over on this side of the country. Mother's Day, a trip to Whitehorse with Noah's school, hanging out at the community garden and spending time with friends.
Life is full of the good and the bad. Over the past few months, I've been acutely aware of this. Friends going through difficult times, learning to stand up for myself in certain situations, but then there is the good too. The sunny warm days, the comfort of home, teaching art to the students at school, the green buds on the trees, the family time together, the love. Thank God for love. I'm so blessed to know it and have it in my life.
So here are some pictures from lately. Things like gardening and our trip to Whitehorse (we saw like 7 bears!!!).
Hope you are well these days. Please take time to soak in the good things. Never underestimate the power of a nice hot bath and a good book. Or a walk in the woods.
xox