I'm a bit of a mess tonight. Okay, that's an understatement. I am full on ugly crying my heart out.
And the reason is, is that it has finally hit me. After the months of planning and talking about it, we are going (in a matter of 2 weeks), and it's not going to be easy on me.
5 years. 5 years in this beautiful, vast, magical, big and lonely territory... and now we are packing up and moving on. This is how it goes with RCMP families, and even though I have done it a few times now, I can tell you, it doesn't get easier.
We moved to the Yukon in the summer of 2010, when Noah was just 11 months old. At that time, I was so nervous and hesitant about this big life changing move of ours. I truly had no idea, just how amazing it would be for our family.
In 2011, we welcomed our sweet Yukon girl into the world, and our lives felt so complete. Being at home with my two littles was a joy and a job that I took seriously. I look back on those days with such fondness. The playdates, the coffee/tea dates with friends, the big Northern family holiday dinners.
The friends we've made, the exploring we've done, the photography that I've taken, the family memories that we've built, it all happened here. How do I say goodbye? I can't even begin to start.
Tonight, while crying my heart out, a friend let me know that it is perfectly ok (and good) to feel these feelings. That it's good to feel it now, and I couldn't agree more. I certainly don't want to say goodbye, but I know that I must begin to find the closure, in order to move forward. It's a process, and I must honour it.
At the end of the day, as I go through the file of memories that I have stored away in my heart, I like to remind myself, that we very well may find ourselves back here some day. The Yukon is a magical place, that draws many people back to it. I will leave that possibility open in my heart and let it out to the universe. Just incase it ever happens... you never know.
But for now, we move forward. We move to another part of this beautiful country of ours and continue our journey as a family. We have many great things to look forward to, many adventures, new friends, and a new babe to join our family. It's going to be good. It always is. We're blessed.