As I pack up our bags and begin to prepare (mentally) for the long trip home to the Yukon, I am left with mixed emotions about where I belong.
This military lifestyle thing is a complex one. Moving every few years is not something that I particularly love or enjoy. Sure, there is adventure and new things to do. And of course we have learned so much about other parts of our country, about other cultures and ourselves for that matter... yet it is hard, because at the root of it, there is me, and I ask myself, where do I belong?
Right now we are in a fairly transient posting. Beaver Creek is not and cannot be a forever place for us, and I understand why. It is far from our family, and it has it's limitations and challenges as a very small and remote Northern community.
For many reasons, I keep much of my feelings about living in a remote community to myself. Words can be misinterpreted and misunderstood, so I stay away from talking about it here, however, I think it is fair to say that I do have my personal feelings about this life, and my feelings are valid. All of our feelings are valid, aren't they?
Feelings of being lonely - missing friends and family, and of missing out on "normal" things, like lessons for the kids, storytimes at the library, a walk through a neighbourhood, picking things up at the grocery store when we need them, a coffee at a coffee shop.
As I prepare to head back to our little Northern life, I am trying to equip myself with some strategies to get through the next few months of isolated living. Things like daily walks with the children, seasonal directed learning (gardening, nature walks, crafting), healthy life style changes, and putting in the effort to support and nurture the relationships that I have with the ones that I love (those near and far). Making art, focusing on photography, reading more books and creating a focus for the future...I'm hoping that with a vision and a plan for the next year, that I can stay positive about things.
And one more thing that I know will help bring my spirits up is that Spring is just around the corner in the Yukon. Any Yukoner can attest to the power of the return of the sun. The longer days, the return to the outdoors (before the bugs arrive!) and just coming out of the house more often.
I have plans to make some longer trips into Whitehorse this summer. I'm hoping to find some programming for Noah (day camp) and would like to spend some of my time doing "city things" in Whitehorse, such as music in the park, picnics with friends, playdates, parkdates and coffee dates.
I think I'm seeing a trend here for the need of more social interaction. It's been rough for me, being such a social person who needs friends, not having a solid group of support. My situation is unique as I've explained, and it's not forever, so I need to find ways to make it through.