With Winslow home, everything is so much better. We mesh well, have our Duyan family vibe going on and all is well with the world. When Winslow is at work, well it's a whole different picture. Our moods are a mix of being tired, emotional and needy, and it's not just the kids I'm talking about.
Winslow has gone back to work after being off for nine months and so far the transition has been hard for all of us. First off I must say, I did expect this to a degree, but not to this extent. I knew it would be hard on the kids and so in preparation I started to reduce my commitments for a while, made out meal plans and started to think about our daily and weekly rhythm. I did this all in anticipation that this period would be difficult but my efforts just don't seem to be making that much of a difference.
Last night was a hard night for us. I was tired and emotionally drained. I was at the point where I couldn't take the crying and constant neediness of my little ones anymore. As soon as Winslow went out the door to work, the kids started to cry right on cue and there was nothing that I could do to help them. The dinner I had made wasn't eaten by anyone and I felt so overwhelmed and done.
The night went on, more crying, more frustration on my part...and finally at 10:30 pm (way past Noah's normal bedtime) he went to sleep.
Today is Winslow's first day off and just like that, we are back to our happy family vibe. Oh my...where do we go from here?
I know that this is going to take some time, but I wish there was something I could do to make it easier on the kids and more importantly myself, because I need to be a good mama to them. Winslow's shifts last long (12 hrs) and so I need to find ways where I can get a break in there, something that's hard, because we co-sleep and do a lot of attachment parenting practices.
Anyways, that's where we are at right now. We're transitioning and it's a bit rough. I know time will help and for now I just have to keep on trying to be understanding of the situation. Highs and lows, ups and downs, this is life and I know we will be just fine.