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Tuesday, October 5, 2010

not perfect as pie








Yesterday was a crazy busy day. A good but crazy busy day. It was one of those days where everything was planned down to the minute and I had to be here, there and everywhere all at once. I didn't sit down until 8 at night at which point I just wanted to collapse.
It was the classic and typical case of me trying to do too much and in the end I felt this all too familiar feeling of being overwhelmed and stressed out. In fact, I felt so stressed out that in the middle of the day somewhere between having done 2 photos sessions and trying to make an apple pie to take to a friend's house for dinner, I called my mother with a cry for help ( actually, more like a cry for encouragement because she lives on the opposite side of the country as me).
I had such high hopes for myself, trying to convince myself that I could do it all. Yes you can be a stellar photographer, a good and safe driver, an excellent attention giving mother, an understanding wife, a dependable friend and yes, you can also be a pastry chef, I told myself. But really, who can do all that and be all that at one time? Exactly. No one. And in the end something had to give. Yes dear friends, something had to give, and do you know what gave? My beautiful apple pie.
I had done it. I had successfully done 2 photo sessions, attended a church service, taken care of my babe, got us dressed, rolled my previously assemble pie crust, peeled the apples, made the pie, baked the pie, got myself and Noah and all our stuff in the car to go to our friend's house for dinner and then right there kaplut- the pie fell upside down onto it's face and I let out a huge scream/swear word and then cried.
I was devastated. Not so much because of the pie (yes I was upset about all that work gone out the window) but because I had failed at my charade of being perfect. The pretending was up...I was certainly not pulling it all off and yes- something had to give.
So I stood there for a minute, accessed the situation, flipped my pie back side up and got in the car an drove to my friend's house for dinner, they would just have to understand I told myself.
So I turned on my music in the car, took a deep breath, put on the seat warmer to try and ease some of the back ache that I had been dealing with all day and drove to my friend's house. On the way there I had some time to think about things and finally realized that I had some letting go to do. Why on earth was I putting all this pressure on myself? Why was I expecting so much of myself, when I would never expect this much from someone else. It was definitely an ah ha moment.
That drive to my friends house was just what I needed to sort everything out. On the way there I thought back to my friend Dawn's recent post about letting go of being perfect and when I arrived at my friend's house I finally felt for the first time that day a sense of peace and that I just had to let everything go. I was nice to finally relax and be able to enjoy some good company and good food. Yes- it was so nice.
And so I will leave you with a few pictures from the dinner. I had initially hoped to get a picture of my pie, all fallish and festive, but that obviously that didn't happen. Instead I will leave you with pictures of cute kiddos, the most amazing looking dog that you have ever seen and snap shots from the night. It sometimes doesn't always work out the way we want it to, but letting go of control is an important lesson to learn...something I am continuing to work on.
And so that is my story of the not so perfect pie. But one more thing to add. We did end up eating the pie and you know what? It was a damn good pie if I might say so myself. Yes it was!
Hope you are having a good day dear friends...and if it ain't such a good day then I hope it gets better.
xox
a side note- I used this recipe for the pie crust and it worked out really well!


9 comments:

  1. Glad you were able to relax at the end of such a hectic day. It's good to have friends you can just 'be yourself' with. You're certainly not letting the grass grow under your feet! Good to keep busy, but not too busy :)

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  2. I felt so bad for you, but I couldn't help but laugh as I read through the post! I have been in the exact same position as you- too busy and expectations of myself set way too high. Then it seems that God pulls something out of His crazy hat to show you to slow down. I love those ah ha moments!
    I am glad you have friends that are willing to eat a pie that isn't perfect. Those are friends worth keeping around. :)

    And is that a komondor dog?? If it is, we had two of them on our farm when I was a kid. Amazing dogs!

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  3. First off, wow! to that dog. Crazy. So cool. I had to give myself a second look to believe it was real!
    And I've been thinking a lot about perfection lately. I tent to be super laid back or flying around crazy. I know there is a middle ground that I need to find. With time, huh.
    I've been meaning to write you about your balance guest blogger. I've got an idea brewing. I'll let you know if I get to it.
    Hope you have a great day, Johanna.

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  4. Oh, Johanna, I so feel you on this! Although I'm sure our days are full of completely different things, I too struggle with the need for perfection. The need to put on this little tap-dance of happiness, a superwoman cape that says, "I can do it all!" I've been thinking and writing about that a lot recently. I'm not sure how to step outside that charade and begin to balance life. (Hence my excitement over your blog series!) There's strength to be found in being vulnerable enough to admit you can't do it all. I loved this post. :)

    P.S. I couldn't help but think that you dropping a pie, then cursing would be perfectly adorable.

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  5. Thanks... I needed the reminder! Everything you write is amazing, and I love the pictures, but...... what you said about being perfect is perfect! We are not perfect, and I've been trying... and then realize I haven't had a shower in 3 days! May need some 'me' time! Glad that I'm not alone out there, thanks Johanna... ♥

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  6. Oh my word, is that a Komondor?? I've never seen one in real life -- gorgeous dog!!

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  7. I think I love that dog and I have a strong need to pet him.

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  8. i think perfection might be an illusion. everyone struggles with it. bravo for you to pick up the pie and carry on. h, and how cool is that dog!!!

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  9. Hola amigo bloguero: tienes un espacio genial, lleno de buenos e interesantes datos. Quiero compartir contigo y tus lectores más información sobre la raza de Perro Komondor y un video de imágenes del Komondor.

    Espero que te guste mi espacio y dejame un comentario si te apetece

    Saludos desde España

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