For the last few years, there have been many life changes for us. 4 moves in 10 years, house sales, babies.. and for the first time in those 10 years, we don't have any expected life changes on the horizon... and it makes me feel restless. Which direction will we go, now that we are here? Now that our family feels complete. Now that we have decided to settle.
I'm 35. No longer a "young mother". My last baby has entered the early toddler stages, and I have so many questions about where that leaves me. My biggest challenge at this very moment is self acceptance and reassurance that this life, is exactly as it should be. I must remind myself daily, that this is it. This is our one beautiful life, and no matter how simple I choose to live, it is more than enough. That I am enough. The competition needs to stop. The comparisons.
We are at the beginning of April, and the ground still has snow on it. Its cold in the mornings and we have fights about whether to wear snow pants or not. My mind drifts ahead to Spring. To my garden. To BBQs and eating on our back deck. And then I remind myself to come back. Come back to now. Look for the joy in the now. Stop looking ahead, it's not useful or good for me. I'm trying, trying so hard to stop that type of thought. In the end, it comes down to acceptance.