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Tuesday, January 31, 2017

connecting








I recently had a well meaning friend tell me to "enjoy those baby years", when explaining how busy she was. I had asked her if we could get together for a walk or coffee, and she explained to me how busy life was and she'd get back to me. Kid's sports, volunteering, work ect, life was busy for her and she was reminiscing back to the days, when being at home with a young child meant less going places and less commitments.
While I completely understand that she was coming from a kind place, it hurt me to read that. I was reaching out for some company, because truthfully, I feel very isolated these days, and while I enjoy being home with my baby, I am needing more connection. More sense of community. More than just being a caregiver.
Multiple strings of illness in our family has left this winter to be an isolating one. On more than one occasion, our plans have been cancelled due to us not being well, and the lack of interaction has left me feeling a void. Weeks have gone by, where I don't see, connect or socialize with anyone but my immediate family. I know that I need a balance of social and alone time ... I need that balance for my happiness and well being.
Right now I am identifying a need to connect on a greater level.  The life of a transient RCMP family is hard. Starting over, again and again is hard. Being 2 provinces away from family and old friends is hard. Making close ties and leaving them is hard. Maintaining friendships across the country is hard.
I've been trying to reach out to friends close by, but it seems as though people are just really busy. I turn to social media to fill that missing void and it is simply not enough. It feels hard, and then the self doubt and insecurities set in.
I know that this is going to take work. It's going to take turn downs. It's going to take me putting myself out there in uncomfortable situations, introducing myself to strangers, seeing if there is a friend connection.  I think as I get older, I am finding this more and more difficult.
Update - I wrote this post a week ago - but didn't have time to publish it...
Since I wrote this, I decided to reach out to some people outside of my small circle of friends to see if we might have a connection. I had a fellow RCMP spouse come over for lunch, went for a walk with a neighbour, and had the same neighbour and her family over for dinner.
I think it's been good for me to push myself to meet other people, and to make the conscious effort of trying. It's not always easy or comfortable, but I am happy to say that I've made some connections, and I'm feeling better for it.




4 comments:

  1. Oh how I wish we could take our babies and go for a walk together! Big, big hugs my friend. x

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Lisa. I wish we could do that together too.

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  2. Johanna, i'm just writing this comment after at about two years of following your blog (not sure, but long time) and it's the first blog ever i really follow! It's so heart-warming to see how you and your family sharing time and just living the life together! It's just giving hope and faith in people while feeling lonely or little bit depressed. The sitting under the blanket with a hot cup if tea or coffee and reading your new post is just the perfect idea to unstress and calm down maybe. So, just wanted to say you thank you and encourage you. I just hope to be the mother like you are, if i ever will have children! Take care!
    With Love
    Magda

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    Replies
    1. Hi Magda,
      Thank you so much for these kind words, and for saying hi.
      I'm glad my blog gives you some happiness. Please do check in!
      xox

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