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Sunday, August 3, 2014

time for self care













It is 10pm and as I look outside my window, the sun is slowly beginning it's decent. Slowly, very slowly, I am feeling that the summer is beginning to pull away from us.
In spots I have noticed leaves changing colours, and every year, I say - this is way too early. But by late August, we will have our first frost (if not sooner, it went down to about 4 degrees last night), and so, I'm not wrong in saying that Autumn is closer than we think. But for now I will hang onto summer. I will soak it in and try to enjoy our lazy days.
The thing is though, that our days have not been exactly lazy. I'm not sure what it is. Bored kids? A bored mama? But for me, the days have been a bit hard and long.
Without going into too much detail, I think I have decided that I am a bit lonely here.
I found so much comfort when living in Hamilton and Whitehorse, because I had a circle of mamas that I could go to for support and friendship. I had friends who were going through the same things as I, at the same time. And the best were the playdates. Those so called playdates, that were just as much for us mothers, as they were for the kids. Coffee, sitting around chatting, and the kids playing together. A nice break for everyone.
But here, it is different. Due to situational circumstances, I find myself alone a lot of the time during the dau. At the park alone. At the pool alone. At the community center alone. And always with 5-10 kids following me. And it's not that I don't enjoy spending time with the kids here, I do, it's just it can get quite lonely when I do it on my own so often. I miss my circle of mama friends. I miss the adult interaction. The kind that you get from a fellow mama.
Last weekend while in Whitehorse, I had the opportunity to escape my current situation, and go back to a life that I used to know. And it was so nice.
Leanne held a women's craft night at her house. We worked on wet felting, and I made a landscape, with mountains and fireweed.
It was a creative evening. Time to be with fellow mamas. No kids, no one to need me, no on to take care of but myself. And it felt good.
I've been giving this "me time" a lot of thought lately.
Living here in an isolated post, doesn't allow me to get much time away or for myself. But more and more, I am realizing that I need breaks, and that I deserve them too. I am a mother, teacher, entertainer, cook, cleaner, dog walker and caretaker almost 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week... and even thought we may live a fairly stress free life, I still need a break, or I feel there will be some burnout.
I'm still trying to find creative ways to take care of this need, but am making a conscious effort to do it in small ways, when ever I can. Phone calls to friends, crafting, lighting a nice smelling candle, taking a walk with Ryder alone, making a cup of herbal tea. Small but much needed steps towards a more balanced me. 
Hope you are carving out time for self care too.
xox




2 comments:

  1. I am going through the same thing in our IP right now too and it is very lonely. I miss having friends to connect with and make the days go by quicker. I have been trying to work on projects since we moved north: cross stitch for my sons room, quilting and scrapbooking in the evenings...

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  2. The crafting night sounds like a lot of fun. Being an introvert, I don't crave social interaction, but I do need a bit of time each day just for myself. Going for a run, even with the little babe sleeping in the stroller most of the time, is all that I normally get now, but it works. You do deserve and need time to yourself!

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