Sometimes life isn't all puppy dogs and cupcakes and rainbows...sometimes I miss my family so much that it hurts...sometimes I feel lonely....other times I don't.
Sometimes I feel "at home" here in the Yukon...other times I feel that I don't belong...sometimes I wish the day to speed up so that I can rest and have some "alone time"... other times I wish for time to stop because there is a moment in the day that catches my breath.
Sometimes I feel healthy and energetic...other times I'm tired, uninspired and feel generally "blah"... sometimes I feel present and sometimes I feel disconnected, all at once.
Sometimes I wonder if I ever will live my dream, a cottage by the sea in P.E.I....sometimes I tell myself that this is "my dream", right here and right now.
Sometimes I realize that someday my baby boy will be all grown up... and I have to remind myself to slow down and count each little line on the palm of his hand...sometimes I have to pinch myself and tell myself that this is real and that I am blessed beyond my understanding...that I have been given so many gifts, gifts of love from my family and friends.
Sometimes just getting it out makes me feel better.
xox
This is beautiful, Johanna. And so many of the things you say echo the way I feel a lot of the time.
ReplyDeletewow, I could have written this word for word (but not so eloquently). Simply beautiful
ReplyDeletexoxo
ReplyDelete<3
I think we all dream of something else, which is fine, but we also need to bring our focus back to the here and now, which is what you are doing.
ReplyDeleteI think it must be very difficult to be moved to the north like you were. Although a wonderful experience in so many ways, I can see how it must be very difficult at the same time.
Hopefully one day your PEI cottage will be a reality.
I totally understand how you feeling not at "home". When we were in Nunavut I missed home, and now that I've been back "home" for 2 years, I'm having dreams about being back at "home" in Nunavut! I can't win!
ReplyDeletegreat post, and i totally relate. miss you too. btw, noah's hair looks SO cute!
ReplyDeleteNodding my head at each word.
ReplyDeleteYou write so beautifully Jo.