Why must moms feel so torn about leaving the babe for a bit just to have a little "alone time"? Since Noah has been born I have left his side approximately 3 times and while I love spending all my time with him and am thankful as ever to have this time to be with him, I find myself craving just a little bit of alone adult time.
Last night after nursing lil Noah and having him fall asleep in my arms, I carefully handed him over to his Papa, slipped on my coat and boots and made a b-line for the door. It was dark and cold outside and as I started the car I got a feeling of excitement as though I were doing something really sneaky and bad. What was I doing you ask? I was making my way over to Once Upon a Child to find some cute Christmas outfits for my babe and I promised my sweetie that I would be only 40 mins or so.
Well let's just say that little taste of freedom lasted about 10 minutes. Just as I was approaching my destination I heard my cell phone ring from deep in my pocket. And as soon as I heard that ring I knew it was over.
"Hello? .......Hello?"
"Waaaaaaaaahhhhnnnnn wahhhhhhnnnn wahnnnnnnn....neee neee neee......waaaaaahnnn!"
"Okay, I'm coming home."
So I raced back home, grabbed my hyperventilating baby and rocked him until he calmed down.
"It's okay baby," I told him "Mama is right here."
and as son as I said those words and cuddled him he fell fast asleep.
So here's where I feel torn. I love that right now I am the one person that can comfort and soothe Noah. And I love that Noah feels safe and secure with me, but when should I start to step back and push him to be ore comfortable with other people? I mean it's not like I left him with a stranger, it was his Papa!
I guess all I can do is keep on trying and hope that little by little Noah will be more comfortable with others.
For now it looks like I will continue to have a little sidekick by my side. A very cute and sweet little sidekick.
*hugs* It will get better. Try a little bit longer each time. Luckily both my husband and I have always been able to calm her, but still, I had a point where I was feeling so cooped up. I felt so guilty leaving her the first few times just because I wanted alone time, but I felt so re-energized afterwards I knew it was worth it. I had thought I was getting PPD, but I found just getting out for an hour or 2 once or twice a week with no baby made all the difference.
ReplyDeleteSo keeping working on it, Daddy will soon have the magic touch too!
A couple days ago Ryan took Gretchen downtown for a walk and it was the first time I'd been away from her since August. I completely understand.
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